


What's to Come is Still Unsure

by SomehowIManage



Series: The Three Mormon Madrigals [2]
Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Anxiety, Drunk flirting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Humor, Love, M/M, Panic Attacks, Romantic Soulmates, Senior year, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, choir, they are DUMBASSES, uncertainties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25302571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomehowIManage/pseuds/SomehowIManage
Summary: During their senior year of college, Kevin, Connor, and their friends struggle to find the solutions to various problems. From relationship issues to fears of what awaits them at the conclusion of this year, the group goes through a lot. Will they break apart due to all of the stress, or will they find that together they can overcome anything—even the things they cannot change?Sequel to One Foot in Sea and One on Shore (best to read that work before this one).
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price
Series: The Three Mormon Madrigals [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1832872
Comments: 15
Kudos: 23





	1. Not All Tales Have Happy Endings

**Author's Note:**

> I always said that if I came up with a decent enough plotline and conflict for a sequel, I would write one. Well, I came up with one conflict and the story ended up practically writing itself and adding more conflicts. So here we are. I’d advise you to read One Foot in Sea and One on Shore first, since there is an established world and OCs. I expected to write a (much) shorter fic, and this came out of my head. Haha 
> 
> Additionally, I found and fell in love with bare: a pop opera, so that’s what my chapter titles are taken from. Plus, the story titles in this series are taken from The Three Madrigals, which is taken from Shakespearean text. And a lot of bare focuses on/takes from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. So yeah, I have a method to my madness…sometimes.. lol. This installment’s title comes from “O Mistress mine where are you roaming?” which in turn is taken from Twelfth Night by Shakespeare. I hope you enjoy the second installment of my series! :)

The year 2019 was all too quickly approaching for Kevin, Connor, and their friends. They were finally in their senior year of college and would be graduating that May and leaving Mother Mary to find jobs or go onto grad school. Well, most of them. Kevin would be staying an additional year to finish his five-year Physician’s Assistant program out. Kevin had a single room that year, since Arnold had moved into an apartment with Nabulungi, and Kevin needed a quieter and less distracting environment for his large workload that year anyway. The two best friends still kept in frequent contact though. In fact, Kevin and Connor’s original friend group had expanded beyond the two of them, Arnold, Nabulungi, Chris, David, and James. Over the past two years, they had become even closer with Kathryn, Dan, and Sam than they originally were, and they had integrated into the friend group easily. The friends frequently had game nights, movie nights, and adventures, constantly willing graduation away. No one was ready to say goodbye or step out into the “real world” and were trying to soak up every experience senior year had to offer. Arnold and Nabulungi, Chris and James, and Kevin and Connor were all still very much in love and happy with each other, much to their reliefs. They had each gotten their soulmate mark for their respective partner when they touched each other for the first time, which meant that they should be meant to spend their lives with each other. No one was disappointed to find that this seemed to be maintaining its truth. Everything was going well for the group of seniors.

Until it wasn’t.

*******

***Kevin***

It was September of 2018 and the choir was already in preparation-mode for their annual Christmas Concert. They had about three months to learn the music and do it well. At the end of a fun and successful practice, Brian, their beloved choir director, stopped everyone from getting up and leaving.

“Okay, guys. I, uh, I have an announcement to make,” Brian said before dismissing the choir. Kevin smiled and sat up a little straighter in his chair, paying attention, but also ready to leave so that he could get to go to Marian Morales with Connor. Brian picked up a paper from his music stand, fiddling with it nervously. “I really don’t wanna do this…” he said in a quiet voice, chuckling strangely through it. Kevin furrowed his eyebrows as the corners of his mouth dropped a bit.

_What’s going on?_

“I just want you all to know that it has been an honor to work with you these past few years,” Brian’s voice wobbled. “And that’s what makes it so hard to tell you that…I received an email last night telling me that… that my contract will not be renewed for next year. This will be the last year I work with you,” Brian swallowed hard.

If he said anything else, Kevin missed it. He was vaguely aware of Connor grabbing his hand and tears streaming down his own face, but just barely. Kevin’s body felt entirely numb and the world seemed to be spinning. Before he realized what was going on, he noticed his peers standing up to put their chairs away. He glanced over at Brian and saw Kathryn hugging him, likely crying too.

The Chapel was eerily quiet. After rehearsal, the choir members are usually bustling around, chatting with their friends. But it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Kevin was still seated, in shock, when Connor placed a hand on his shoulder, quietly urging him to stand up, not wanting to break the solemn silence. As Kevin stood up, Connor pulled him into a hug. Kevin gripped his boyfriend’s back as though his life depended on it. He didn’t want to believe what just happened. He wanted to think it was a horrible dream that he would wake up from.

But it wasn’t. And he wouldn’t.

Kevin walked over to the chair stands to put his chair away when he heard a crash behind him. He jumped and spun around to find Brian and Kathryn staring at the bench they presumably rammed the piano into. Kathryn looked horrified, while Brian just looked disassociated.

“Whoops,” Brian said, numbly. He looked over at Sam. “You weren’t going to practice tonight, right?”

“Uh…I don’t know. Kind of,” Sam sputtered.

“Just use a chair,” Brian said, not unkindly. “We’ll have to order a new bench,” he said to no one in particular. Everything was just wrong. Not one damn thing seemed right.

“Come on, let’s go,” Connor murmured in his ear. Kevin looked into his eyes. They were filled with unshed tears. Kevin nodded and allowed himself to be led out of the Chapel. Things felt as though they were simultaneously moving too fast and far too slowly. It was a confusing feeling, though Kevin supposed that was appropriate for the night. Kevin held it together as Brian passed them and said goodnight, driving away. Kevin collapsed onto Connor and began to sob. Connor held Kevin close to his chest and rubbed his back.

“I—I don’t—I don’t under—stand,” Kevin choked out between gasps of air from his crying.

“I know, sweetheart. I don’t either,” Connor whispered into his hair. Kevin felt the undeniable feeling of Connor’s tears hitting his head, leaking into his hair.

“He’s the best thing that ever happened to this place. Everyone loves him. How could they do this?” Kevin cried.

“I don’t know.” Connor hugged him tighter. “Listen, we don’t have to go to Marian Morales tonight. We can just stay in,” Connor offered.

“No, let’s go,” Kevin decided. Connor pulled back from their hug and studied his face. Kevin gave him a small smile. “It’s either sulk about it and feel horrible all night or make an attempt to keep our minds off of it for a little bit.”

“Are you sure?” Kevin nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go.” The pair hung out in Evermund Hall, as usual, but Kevin decided to write an email to the university president, appealing for Brian’s job. Connor told him he would write his later on, once he cleared his head a little bit, but agreed to proofread for Kevin.

**Hello Father Kessler,**

**I hope you are doing well. My name is Kevin Price and I am a senior Medical Studies major in the first year of graduate school as a P1. It has come to my attention tonight that Brian Richmond’s contract will not be renewed next year and I am struggling to understand why.**

**Brian has been nothing but a blessing to this university. He is a personable, caring, and intelligent individual. He works exceedingly well with our choirs and is a wonderful professor. I have been under his instruction ever since he joined the Mother Mary family. I have been in all three choirs with him and was fortunate enough to take Music of the Baroque Era with him last year. He has always been extremely professional and only wants the best for his students.**

**Not every professor at Mother Mary has a personal relationship with their students, but Brian absolutely does. If I seem even slightly off or upset, he asks me what is wrong and allows for me to vent if needed. In fact, within a few months of knowing him, he helped me through a really tough time in my life and gave me advice that helped me to become happier and get through it. That means so much to me because it shows that he cares about my wellbeing. I cannot say the same for many other professors or faculty members.**

**When Brian announced to us this evening that his contract would not be renewed, I was completely heartbroken, and I know the rest of the choir was too. This man has been an incredible addition to the Mother Mary family and it is such an injustice and disservice for him to be let go. He fits in so well with the Mother Mary community and is a wonderful example of our mission statement.**

**I am unable to understand why he would be let go due to all of these reasons and more. I know that you are probably very busy, and may not be directly involved with this decision, but if you could consider what I said and possibly revoke this decision, it would mean the world to me and the rest of the choir. Additionally, if you would like to meet with me to discuss this further, I would be glad to. If there is someone else I could talk to about this decision, I would be happy to talk to him or her as well. Thank you for your time.**

**Sincerely,**

**Kevin Price**

“Sound okay?” Kevin asked, tears streaming down his face. Connor took his hand.

“It’s perfect, Kev. I think you’re good to send it,” Connor said. Kevin searched the man’s blue eyes and found nothing but love, honesty, and concern. Kevin looked down at his phone and tapped “send.” It was done.

“I love you,” Kevin looked up at Connor again. The redhead smiled.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Connor pulled Kevin into a hug and the two stayed like that in silence for a while until Kevin broke it again.

“I just…if Brian can’t hold onto a job that he was amazing at…what hope is there for the rest of us? I mean…none of us have jobs lined up yet and half of us don’t even know what we want to really do with our lives. I mean, I’ll still be here for one more year finishing up grad school, but like, what happens after that? Will any hospitals or doctors’ offices actually want me? What if I do clinicals and I absolutely suck at them and they hate me? What if—”  
“Kevin, love, you’re spiraling. Take a deep breath,” Connor said, patiently. He paused and took a few exaggerated deep breaths for Kevin to mimic. Once Kevin was breathing normally again, Connor continued. “Nobody has all the answers, and we might not know for sure what is going to happen in the near future. But we’re going to be there for each other. All of us. And we’ll be there for Brian too. We’re going to fight this. And remember, I love you. Nothing is ever going to change that. Whether we’re living our dreams or just barely getting by, I’m not going to leave your side. You’re stuck with me, Price, for better or for worse,” Connor joked. Kevin choked out a laugh, overcome with emotion. Connor placed his hand on Kevin’s cheek and stared into his eyes. “I’m here for you. No matter what.”

“I love you so much, Connor,” Kevin cried, placing his own hand over Connor’s.

“I love you too, Kevin. I always have and I always will,” Connor smiled. The two kissed each other, relaying every emotion—stated and unstated—to each other in that kiss.

For just a moment, Kevin felt like everything could be okay.

***Connor***

Once they wasted enough time in Evermund, Connor and Kevin made their way over to the Copperhead for Marian Morales. They found Dan and Kathryn already sitting at a table, looking absolutely devastated, and joined them.

“I just can’t believe this is happening. He’s the best thing to happen to Mother Mary,” Kathryn said softly, tears welling up in her eyes again. “Did you guys send any emails yet? We were going to ask everyone to send one to Father Kessler and go from there. Start at the top of the food chain, you know?”

“One step ahead of you,” Kevin smiled weakly. “I just sent one to him and Con’s gonna send one tonight too.” Kathryn nodded.

“Good. Maybe if enough of us send emails we can get through to them. All I know is that we’re not going down without a fight. It doesn’t hurt to try, and Brian’s not going to get in trouble from us sending these, so what the hell?” Kathryn stated with a fire growing in her eyes.

“Absolutely,” Connor agreed earnestly. Brian meant so much to all of the choir members. He had never heard a single bad thing spoken about him. Everyone loved him. He and Kevin even owed their relationship in part to his advice. Brian had noticed that Kevin was going through some sort of hardship during their sophomore year when Kevin was questioning his feelings for Connor, and reached out to him when he needed it most. He also spoke with Connor after he pieced together what was going on and offered him advice and a listening ear as well. He had transformed from purely a professor and choir director into a mentor, role model, and friend. Even though he was graduating that year and the decision did not affect him on an academic or choir level, it did affect him in that he did not want to see someone who meant a lot to him suffer an injustice. He was going to fight this with everything he had.

The group of friends were discussing “The Situation,” as they had dubbed it, when a man they did not know approached their table.

“Hi, would it be okay if I sit with you all? I’m a new faculty member at Mother Mary and I’m trying to get to know people from campus better. Unless this seat is for someone else?” The man gestured at the empty chair at their table.

“Sure, you can join us!” Dan said with a smile. “My name is Dan and these fine people are Kathryn, Connor, and Kevin. We’re all seniors.”

“It’s so nice to meet you all,” the man replied with a smile, moving a hand through his wild dark brown hair.

“What’s your name?” Kathryn asked. The man opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the Campus Minister announcing the start of the event and beginning the prayer. After they had blessed themselves at the end of the prayer, tables began to be called to get their food. Connor’s table was called up first since they were all seniors, but the man lingered behind, allowing for the students to have first dibs at the food. When the group returned to the table with their plates of mozzarella sticks, quesadillas, and chicken fingers, the man stared at the food hesitantly.

“Is it all fried food?” he asked.

“Yeah, we all just use this as our dinner. You can’t really eat before you come here. It’d be too much food,” Kathryn explained. The man scrunched his nose in disgust.

“Yeah, I think I’m going to wait until I get home to have dinner. I need to watch my figure,” he said, patting his undescended stomach. Dan snorted.

“Whatever you say, man, it’s your loss,” Kevin shrugged his shoulders.

“I do want a beer though. How do I order that?” the man asked.

“There’s a waitress walking around taking orders. You’re going to have to pay for it yourself though—that’s not included,” Connor explained.

“Ah, I see her. I’ll be back,” the man all but jumped out of his seat, hurrying over to the waitress to place his order. The group of students gave each other a curious look but continued on with their conversation. Soon enough, the man returned, beer in hand, to the table. Dan spotted some friends at another table and sauntered over to them to say hello.

“Why does he walk like that?” the man questioned. Connor looked up from his food and glanced over at Dan, who was admittedly doing a funny walk, but with the intentions of being goofy.

“That’s just how Dan is,” Kathryn said nonchalantly.

“He’s…an interesting person…” the man commented, unsure. Connor and Kevin frowned, not liking his tone, while Kathryn did her best to keep a neutral face. Soon enough, Dan returned to the table and no one brought up the kind of rude comment that the man had made. The actual talk began a few minutes later, discussing the importance of relationships and how to best be yourself within life. Everyone enjoyed the discussion and Campus Ministry organized a group picture at the end of it. The man disappeared in the crowds at the end of the event.

“We never did get his name, did we?” Kathryn asked Dan, Connor, and Kevin.

“No, we didn’t,” Connor frowned. “He was kind of judgey, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, Dan, when you went over to say hi to Matt, he made a comment about the way you walked over to him,” Kevin informed him.

“Wow, what a dick. I’m sorry I’m having fun in my life,” Dan huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever, you’re a cool guy, Dan. Don’t let him get you down,” Connor encouraged.

“Oh, I’m not, don’t you worry. Well, I think I’m gonna bring Kathryn back to campus and then head home. I’m pretty beat,” Dan replied.

“We could bring Kathryn back, if you want. That way you don’t have to go out of your way,” Connor offered. Dan glanced at Kathryn and at her nod, agreed and thanked Connor. They all said their goodbyes and Connor, Kevin, and Kathryn piled into Connor’s car to drive the short distance back to Mother Mary. They dropped Kathryn off at her dorm before Connor drove to Kevin’s dorm. Kevin stared down at his lap when Connor pulled up to the door of the building, not making any attempts to move. After a beat, Kevin opened his mouth.

“Would you mind stopping by my room for a little bit? I know it’s getting kind of late and we still have classes tomorrow, but—”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Connor interjected, pulling into a parking space outside the dorm instead. Kevin swiped his ID at the door and the two walked in and up the stairs to get to his floor. Once Kevin unlocked his door, Connor immediately entered the room, hopped on his bed, and opened his arms without a word. Kevin sat next to him on the bed and relaxed into his arms, allowing Connor to just silently hold him. After some time, Connor started to feel tears seeping through his shirt.

“Kev, sweetheart, are you okay?” Connor asked. He supposed maybe it was a stupid question, but he wanted to be there for Kevin in any way possible. Kevin gave a small shake of the head _—No._ Connor’s heart just about broke from the simple action.

_I wish there was something I could do or say that would make him feel better. It kills me to see him like this._

Connor tightened his grip around Kevin, trying to tell him that he was there for him as best he could. He felt Kevin pull away a little bit. When he pulled away as well and looked at Kevin, the boy captured his lips in a kiss, which Connor returned. He swiped his thumb under Kevin’s eye as he held his cheek, brushing away some of the stray tears.

“I love you,” Kevin whispered against his lips.

“I love you too,” Connor murmured in reply, pressing their lips together again. Even after nearly two years, Connor still felt the same swoop in his stomach when he kissed Kevin. It was as though he was dying of thirst and Kevin’s lips were a glass of water. Like Kevin was the fuzzy blanket and mug of hot chocolate in front of a fireplace at the end of a difficult and cold day. He was everything Connor ever wanted or craved. He was the addiction Connor never wanted to let go of. The answer to his question. The person who made all of the troubles and doubts in Connor’s life all but disappear and much more manageable. His home. Even the things that some people found annoying about Kevin, Connor found endearing. His passion and stubbornness showed Connor just how much heart and care Kevin put into things. Even his anxious tics were kind of cute as long as Kevin didn’t get hurt from them. His tendencies to wring his hands, fiddle with his bangs, and shove his thumbs into his pockets while shuffling his feet made Connor smile, and often resulted in Connor giving Kevin a kiss on the side of his head, silently encouraging him to breathe and calm down. It usually worked. There weren’t many things Connor McKinley wouldn’t do for Kevin Price. He meant everything to him. And if that meant staying too long in Kevin’s dorm to return to his own dorm room and pull an all-nighter to finish a paper due the next morning, he would do it.

Because Connor McKinley was still absolutely crazy for Kevin Price and wanted nothing more than to make him happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one and the shit already hits the fan! I'm planning on updating this about every two-three weeks (give or take). I have most of the story already written, but I want to allot for time to perfect and finish some chapters. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my story! Please let me know what you think! Take care of yourself--you deserve it! :)


	2. I Always Fight to Do What’s Right and This is my Reward?

***Kevin***

It only took two days for Kevin’s email to Father Kessler to be answered, but it felt like the longest two days he had ever experienced. Even worse, Kevin got a response that he was not hoping for. While Kevin was working on some homework for the upcoming week, his phone buzzed, notifying him that he received an email.

**Hello, Kevin:**

**Thank you for your email regarding Mr. Richmond. I am very touched by your support of him and am glad that you enjoy being a member of the choir.**

**Since this is a personnel/programming issue between Mr. Richmond and Mr. Lewis, our provost, it is not appropriate for me to discuss this sort of matter. I trust you can understand.**

**I hope your semester is going well - hard to believe it is almost over!**

**Again, thanks.**

**Fr. Kessler**

Kevin’s face dropped the moment he opened it. He immediately took a screenshot of it and sent it to the group chat he had with his choir friends.

**(Kevin): Did you guys get your responses?? :(**

**(Kathryn): OH MY GOD. HE SENT ME THE EXACT SAME EMAIL WORD FOR WORD.**

**(Dan): Me as well!**

**(Connor): Yep.**

**(Sam): So what do we do?**

**(Chris): We could try emailing the provost guy maybe?**

**(Kathryn): It doesn’t hurt to try. I’m just copying and pasting the first email and editing a bit.**

**(Dan): Just emailed him. I will not be silenced.**

Kevin did as Chris and Kathryn suggested and awaited Mr. Lewis’ reply.

_This couldn’t possibly just be brushed under the table, could it? Someone had to offer help or insight. Right?_

***

Amid all of the chaos of “The Situation” and senior year in general, Kevin, Connor, Kathryn, and Dan were taking full advantage of the senior events that were held on campus. Some were helpful for them to figure out what to do after graduation, or to reflect on Christian teachings. Others were mainly for socializing and free alcoholic beverages. Kevin and Connor had to admit that the latter events were their favorites. A Senior Soiree for exactly that purpose, was held that Tuesday night and the group of friends were very excited to attend. The attire was business casual, so Kevin and Connor wore a green button-down and blue button-down, respectively, with matching ties, dress pants, and dress shoes. The event was held in one of the conference rooms at the back of the cafeteria, so Connor met Kevin at his dorm and the two walked over together in lighthearted conversation.

“You know, I love this color on you. It really brings out your eyes,” Kevin commented, running his hand over the royal blue fabric that covered Connor’s shoulder. Connor chuckled.

“Well, thank you. You don’t look half bad yourself,” he teased, bumping their shoulders together affectionately. Kevin stopped them from walking any further to give his boyfriend a kiss. Connor wrapped his arms around him, smiling into the kiss.

“Get a room!” a voice yelled out to them. Kevin pulled away from Connor and spun around to glare in the direction of the voice. His expression relaxed into a smile when he saw Dan laughing while Kathryn hit his shoulder.

“Asshole,” Connor chided jokingly, glad that it was only Dan teasing them.

“No, you,” Dan responded cheekily. Kathryn rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Are you guys ready for Senior Soiree?” she asked.

“You bet!” Kevin exclaimed. “We’re allowed up to three alcoholic drinks, right?”

“Yep, I think so!” Dan replied, grinning. The four started to walk the rest of the way to the cafeteria as they chatted amongst themselves. They finally entered the room to find a sign-in table, a long table full of hors d’oeuvres, tall tables that a few students were already socializing at, and, of course, a bar area. The group of friends stopped at the sign-in table first, showing their driver’s licenses to get a wristband with drink tickets attached. As predicted, there were three tickets available to be used that night. Before going to the bar, the group helped themselves to some of the food, such as mini cheesesteaks, bleenies, potstickers, pigs in a blanket, fruit, cheese, crackers, and spinach artichoke dip with bread cubes. Kevin and Connor decided to set their food down at a table before they got their drinks. After scanning the room, Kevin spotted Natalia and Bill at a table with one of their friends and suggested that they join them. He had dated Natalia before Connor when the two lied about getting their soulmate marks for each other. Luckily things ended on very good terms for them, and they had even double dated a couple of times once Kevin and Connor finally got together.

“Hey Nat, mind if we join you guys?” Kevin smiled at her.

“Kev! Of course; how are you?” her face broke into a grin as she greeted him with a hug.

“Not too bad, how are you?” he asked as they pulled away.

“Oh, you know, surviving,” she joked. “Connor, great to see you as always!” she turned her attention to the redhead, giving him a hug as well while Kevin greeted her boyfriend, Bill, with a handshake.

“Likewise! Can you believe we’re in our last year?” Connor asked her.

“Ugh, don’t even remind me. I’m not ready to be done,” she laughed.

“Believe me, I’m not either,” Connor replied, also laughing. Kevin then excused the two of them from their table to hit up the bar. They glanced at the wine selection in front of them, trying to decide what they wanted.

“Could you make a Dirty Shirley, please?” Connor asked the bartender.

“Sure thing!” she replied as Kevin turned to his boyfriend in confusion.

“What the hell is that?”

“Did you ever get Shirley Temples as a kid? It’s basically that with vodka added to it. So, it’s just grenadine, Sprite, and vodka. They’re really good!” The bartender handed Connor the red drink and looked at Kevin to order. He wasn’t sure he was completely sold on the mixed drink yet.

“Could I have a Pinot Noir, please?” he asked. She nodded her head, poured him the drink, and collected their drink tickets. They made their way back over to Natalia and Bill’s table, finding Kathryn and Dan already talking to them. The event continued on with a small interruption in the middle to inform the students of the coming events and some details about graduation, even though it was still about eight months away. In between the information session and talking with his friends, Kevin wandered off to get a Dirty Shirley, discovering that he liked the drink after he stole a sip of Connor’s. When he returned to the table, he discovered some faculty members engaging his peers in conversation. He soon found himself in conversation with the man in charge of the Senior Success program that he was joining. Throughout their conversation, Kevin was mindlessly sipping on his drink, making it go down much faster than he was expecting. Once his conversation ended, Kevin started to walk back over to the bar when Connor noticed him and stopped him.

“Kevin, are you already going into your third drink?” Connor asked.

“How’d ya know?” Kevin asked, scrunching his eyebrows together. Connor grabbed his hand and lifted it, exposing Kevin’s wristband.

“You only have one drink ticket left,” he stated simply.

“Oh yeah,” Kevin said, staring blankly at it.

“Are you sure you want a third glass, Kevin? You don’t exactly have the highest tolerance,” Connor suggested lightly. Kevin waved his hand dismissively.

“A lot of these events have free booze at them. And who am I to say no to free booze? Lord knows my tuition money isn’t being used elsewhere, so it might as well get me some free alcohol,” he replied, slurring slightly. Connor gave him a concerned look, but decided Kevin was capable of making his own decisions. He watched Kevin wander back over to the bar and order a Pink Moscato, surrendering over his final drink ticket. Connor sighed, deciding to forfeit his final two drinks to ensure Kevin made it back to his dorm safely. Connor walked over to the bar, passing his boyfriend, and ordered two waters. If he couldn’t control Kevin’s sobriety, he would at least make sure the boy was hydrated. He found Kevin sipping his wine at their original table, now alone. Connor kissed the side of his head, placing the drinks in front of them.

“Wha’s this?” Kevin asked, glancing down at the waters over the rim of his now half empty wine glass.

“This is water, dear. We drink it to stay hydrated and live,” Connor teased, wrapping his arm around Kevin’s waist. The brunette leaned into the touch.

“I know,” he replied, giggling.

“Dork. I love you,” Connor said, rolling his eyes, but smiling in spite of himself.

“And I. Love. You,” Kevin replied, poking Connor’s nose before returning to his wine.

“How about we take a nice, long sip of water?” Connor requested, gently moving Kevin’s wine glass to the table.

“Okay, **Mom** ,” Kevin stuck his tongue out, but drank the water regardless. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he would probably not feel amazing in the morning, but decided that he was allowed to have a little fun here and there and worry about the consequences later. Even Kevin Price needed to let loose every now and again.

After Kevin finished both his wine and his glass of water, Connor managed to walk him back to his dorm without too much trouble. They made their way up the steps to Kevin’s wing of the building and door. Connor took Kevin’s keys from him and unlocked the door, watching Kevin stumble through the doorframe. Connor closed the door behind him and started to undo Kevin’s tie. Kevin’s giggling became even louder as Connor unbuttoned his shirt, exposing the plain white t shirt he wore underneath. After Connor successfully pulled the brunette’s arms through the button-down, Kevin wrapped his arms around Connor’s waist, peppering him with kisses and pressing his body against Connor’s. Connor almost let himself get lost in the feeling until he felt a certain pressure growing from the both of them, reminding him of the situation.

“Kev, stop,” Connor groans, prying himself from his boyfriend’s grasp.

“Why? You’re so sexy in your tie,” Kevin slurred, tugging on said article of clothing.

“Well, for starters, you’re drunk,” Connor said pointedly.

“Pshhht. I’m not drunk, you’re drunk,” Kevin giggled, leaning on his boyfriend for support. Connor took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment in frustration. After opening them, he guided Kevin over to his bed. “Oh, I like where this is going,” Kevin commented in a husky voice.

“No, Kevin, we’re taking off your shoes and pants so you can go to bed. You have class in the morning,” Connor chided. Kevin pouted as Connor sat him down on the bed, untying his shoes and removing them from Kevin’s feet. Connor then delicately unbuttoned, unzipped, and rolled the pants off the brunette’s legs as he stared up at the ceiling in a daze. Connor left Kevin’s side for a moment, returning with a glass of water and Ibuprofen for Kevin to take in the morning, as well as a pair of pajama pants that he stole from one of the boy’s drawers. He picked up another pill container on Kevin’s bedside table and popped out a single pill from it.

“Allergy med. Drink your water with it,” Connor commanded. Kevin did as he asked, setting the glass down when he was finished washing the pill down with it. Connor refilled the glass and returned it to the bedside table, next to the pain medication. Kevin managed to haphazardly pull the pajama pants through his legs up to his waist and made himself comfortable in his bed, staring up at Connor.

“Cuddle?” he asked, opening his arms. Connor sighed.

“I’m sorry, honey, I have to go back to my dorm and study for an exam before I go to bed. Next time, okay?” Connor asked, sadly. Kevin pouted, but nodded anyway. Connor slapped his palm against his own face. “I forgot to brush your teeth…” He studied his boyfriend for a moment. “One night isn’t going to kill you,” he concluded, deciding the extra effort of getting Kevin up again was not worth it. Connor leaned down and kissed Kevin goodnight. Kevin returned the kiss eagerly, even though he was getting tired.

“There are pain meds on your table, a note on your desk, and I’ll slide your key under your door when I lock it from outside the room. Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you,” Connor smiled.

“Love you too,” Kevin yawned. “Thanks for taking care of me,” he added sleepily.

“My pleasure,” Connor responded. He kissed Kevin’s forehead as the boy drifted off to sleep, turning off the lights and locking the door as promised.

***

The next afternoon, four days since the second emails were sent out, Kevin finally got a response. He had struggled through most of the morning with a painful headache, despite Connor’s thoughtful preparations. Kevin had just finished his classes for the day, relaxing in his dorm, when the notification popped up.

**Dear Kevin,**

**Thank you for your email about Mr. Richmond. I appreciate the high regard you have for him and the feedback regarding your positive experiences in the chorale.**

**It is not appropriate for me to discuss Mr. Richmond's contract with you. While he has done well at Mother Mary University, we have decided to move in a new direction to enhance the choral program on campus. Details about these enhancements are forthcoming.**

**I wish you continued success!**

**Best wishes,**

**Derek Lewis...**

He couldn’t believe it. Before he even got the chance to take a screenshot, Chris had already sent his own email to the group chat. Kevin was disgusted, yet not really surprised, to see that Chris’ email was identical to his own.

**(Chris): The students at Mother Mary have no voice in anything lol**

**(Kevin): I got the same email.**

**(Kathryn): Me too. Mine just had an extra little ditty about me being a manager.**

**(Connor): Fuck this place and these people.**

**(Sam): I’m so glad that our top administrators know how to use the copy and paste function on their computers instead of dealing with problems professionally**

**(Kathryn): PREACH.**

**(Dan): *makes a decision regarding student activities without talking to students***

***gets 20 emails about why students are unhappy with the decision***

***still does not talk to students***

**(Kevin): Honestly though. I’m so disgusted.**

Kevin’s phone gave him a text notification outside of the group chat. It was from Connor.

**(Connor): Could you come over?**

**(Kevin): I’ll be there in about five minutes.**

**(Connor): Okay.**

Kevin grabbed his laptop and backpack and headed out of his dorm. When he got to Connor’s dorm, the boy was already waiting for him at the door. Connor let him inside and led him up to his room wordlessly. Kevin followed, slightly confused. After Connor shut the door behind them, he burst into tears. Kevin rushed to his side, pulling him into a hug.

“Hey, hey, hey, baby, what’s wrong?” Kevin asked, rubbing Connor’s back as he hugged him.

“There’s really nothing we can do, is there? Brian’s losing his job and we can’t do a damn thing about it. We literally have zero say in any of this. And this could happen to any of us. Any job could just tell us to go fuck ourselves for any number of reasons, despite how well we do our job or not. None of us have an actual guarantee in this. In the real world. We can get fucked over so easily and we can’t even defend ourselves because no one wants to hear our side of the story. How do we deal with that?” Connor sobbed into Kevin’s chest.

“I don’t know,” Kevin replied honestly. He ran his fingers through the ginger locks, trying to soothe him. He always hated seeing Connor so upset.

_This situation only gets worse and worse. Where’s the light at the end of the tunnel? I can’t lie to Connor and tell him that I’m not worried, myself, because I am. But he needs someone to be there for him. He needs me to be his rock. How many times has he done the same thing for me? I wish I could do something to make him feel better. To make him happy again._

“Con, I’m not going to lie to you. This all sucks majorly, and it is extremely unfair. And there’s no guarantee that it won’t ever happen to any of us. But that’s not reason to lose all hope,” Kevin said gently. Connor raised his head and pulled back a little to look at him questioningly.

“Isn’t it though?”

“No, it’s not. Because sometimes the most impossible things turn out alright. I mean, look at us. I was a complete mess and gave you about a million reasons to give up on me. But you never did. And look at us now. I can’t even imagine my life without you. So even though things can suck, and they don’t always turn out the way we hope, we shouldn’t stop fighting or working towards our goals. And you, Connor McKinley, are going to do amazing things. I have the utmost amount of faith in you. I love you so much and I know you’re going to get through anything life might throw at you,” Kevin cupped Connor’s cheek and stared into his eyes as he said this. Said blue eyes were made even bluer by the tears welling up in them. Connor squeezed his eyes shut, effectively releasing about four or five tears down his face and gripped the hand Kevin held on his cheek.

“What did I ever do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?” Connor sniffled. Kevin smiled sweetly at him.

“I could ask you the same question.” The two boys embraced each other again, both feeling completely and utterly safe in the other’s arms. There was something about the way they fit together that was so comforting. It made them believe that maybe, just maybe, they could get through anything together.

***Connor***

The rest of the night, Connor and Kevin worked on their respective homework assignments by themselves, but in each other’s company. They took a small break to get takeout from the cafeteria and return to Connor’s dorm room to cuddle and watch Netflix while they ate. All of the talk about the hypothetical future made Connor consider the fact that he and Kevin never really had a real conversation about it. Sure, they had talked about their aspirations, hopes, and dreams, but never in a ton of detail.

“Hey Kev?” Connor asked, pausing the episode of _Schitt’s Creek_ that they were currently on. Kevin turned his head towards him and smiled.

“Yeah?” Connor swallowed, trying to think of a decent segue way into the subject. Coming up empty, he decided to just say it outright.

“Where do you see yourself in five or ten years?” Kevin pursed his lips, actually considering the question.

“Well, by the time I’m thirty-one…oh God, that’s not a real number. Jeez. Okay, anyway, when I’m that old, I’d imagine I’m hopefully a physician’s assistant in a doctor’s office, or a hospital, or something. Just so long as I like the place and I’m happy there. Why do you ask? You know that’s what my goal is,” Kevin asked, curious.

“No, I mean, yeah, I know that. But I meant, like, **beyond that**. Like, how do you picture your more personal life?” Connor swallowed nervously.

“Oh, okay, that makes more sense. Well, I’ll still be with you, obviously,” Kevin knocked their shoulders together teasingly. “I could see our friend group lasting beyond college too. Like, maybe some of us are kind of far away from each other, but there’s always texting and phone calls, plus I’m sure we’ll all meet up with each other as much as possible. Um, I’m not super picky about where I want to live, honestly. I mean, we’re how many hours away from Utah now and we’re doing fine. Sure, I miss my family, but like I said with our friend group, there’s a lot of ways to keep in touch and visit. Though, I do think I’d prefer to live in the suburbs or something, you know? City life isn’t really for me,” Kevin laughed. Connor smiled.

“I hear ya. As much as I love the city, I don’t think I could actually live there. Uh, how…how about kids?” Connor asked, breaking eye contact to stare at the floor. Kevin grabbed Connor’s hand and started to play with it, tracing circles on the back of his palm and moving his fingers around before speaking.

“I’d really love to have a family one day. To be able to raise kids someday. To raise them with you. Because, let’s face it, we need more Connor McKinleys in the world,” Kevin smiled softly. “Is that something you might want one day?” he asked. Connor gave him a tight smile and nodded, trying not to succumb to tears at his boyfriend’s sweet words.

“I’d love to start a family with you one day, Kevin Price,” he finally managed. Kevin smiled back at him and rested his head on his shoulder.

“What do you think about marriage?” Kevin asked nonchalantly. Connor’s eyes bugged out, unbeknownst to Kevin.

“I, uh, I think that one day, it’d be really nice to be, um, married,” Connor replied honestly, not really knowing where Kevin stood on the topic. “What do you think?”

“I’d really like it too, I think,” Kevin replied. Connor smiled against Kevin’s head, planting a kiss in his hair. “This isn’t me proposing, I swear. I was just curious,” Kevin clarified.

“Okay,” Connor replied, deep in thought.

_So he does want to get married one day. That’s good. I wonder who will propose…I think I can see either of us doing it, to be honest. I guess time will tell. Who knows, maybe by some weird coincidence we’ll end up proposing to each other at the same time! I’ve read some articles about that before. One thing’s for certain: a future with Kevin is sounding more and more appealing each day. I can’t imagine not being with him at this point. He really is my better half. Anything is worth fighting for as long as he’s on my side._

The boys stopped questioning each other for the time being, satisfied with each other’s responses. Even though the road may be rough, the destination looked like it would be worth it. Connor moved to press play to continue their episode, but Kevin stopped him, initiating a kiss instead, which Connor eagerly reciprocated. The kiss started off as sweet and tender, slowly turning more passionate. Connor ran his fingers through Kevin’s hair as Kevin gripped Connor’s back, keeping himself pressed up against the boy. The taste of Kevin’s mouth urged Connor on, as did the heat of their bodies radiating into the other, even through their clothing. By the end of their makeout session, both boys were slightly out of breath, grinning at each other. Connor didn’t think he ever saw someone look so perfect, even while his hair was utterly disheveled.

_Yep, definitely worth it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing drunk/very tipsy Kevin is fun. XD 
> 
> Thanks for reading, commenting, and/or leaving kudos--it really means a lot! I hope you're enjoying the second installment of the little world I've created! A lot of tea and more drama is coming up in the next chapter, so stay tuned! :)


	3. Thoughts Battle Words Over Deeds

***Kevin***

Not only did the university decide to let Brian go, but they also kicked the choir out of the Chapel to do renovations in preparation for the changes that would be taking place the following year. So instead of practicing in the Chapel like they usually would, the choir was forced to use Miller Hall, the much smaller and less resonant “chapel” where the oblates lived. The choirs were able to practice well enough, but it was definitely an annoying inconvenience that everyone was adjusting to. The first night of rehearsal in that space found a visitor. Towards the end of Chorale rehearsal, through the doors walked a man in a black dress shirt, black pants, a white collar, and a crucifix around his neck. He had dark brown hair that was semi-wild, even though it seemed to have been fiddled with meticulously, and a well-groomed beard and mustache. He looked familiar, but Kevin couldn’t quite place him. All eyes were on him as he made his way across the floor, towards the choir. Brian noticed him and cleared his voice, asking for everyone’s attention.

“Guys, this is Father O’Hara,” Brian said, gesturing to the priest.

“Welcome, my children. I do hope that you can accommodate to this space, as our Chapel is being renovated. But worry not, this is not our forever home,” he paused for a moment, contemplating what he had said. “Well, I suppose our ‘forever home’ is somewhere up there,” he added, pointing up at the ceiling.

“Jesus Christ. That took a dark turn…” Connor murmured to Kevin, his eyes slightly bulging. Kevin nodded his head as subtly as possible, not wanting to call any attention to the pair. Brian interjected into the discussion to help shed some light on a few things.

“The administration, as you all know, is reworking the Choral Program. With that, they are making renovations to our Chapel and will be adding a brand-new Austin Pipe Organ, which is why we will be rehearsing in here until further notice,” Brian informed the group. Something seemed…off…about the mood of the room. Brian was typically more chipper, though Kevin supposed that could have something to do with the small fact that the man was going to lose his job. And this O’Hara character…Kevin could not get a good feel for him.

“Now, you all may be wondering ‘Who is this dingus standing in front of me? What does he have to do with all of this?’ So, I’ll tell you! Dr. Taggart is enlisting my help to provide a smooth transition for you all going into the next year. I know that this all may be difficult, but I just want you to know that I am on your side,” Father O’Hara explained. Kevin and the rest of the choir maintained a stoic expression on their faces.

_I don’t trust him._

*******

After choir rehearsal, Kevin and Connor got dinner together, as usual. Kevin happened to be scrolling through Instagram and found that Campus Ministry had posted the group picture from Marian Morales. Upon further inspection of the picture, Kevin realized why Father O’Hara looked familiar.

“Connor, look! Father O’Hara was at Marian Morales. He’s the guy who was judging Dan! That’s why he looked so familiar!” Kevin whisper-yelled. Connor squinted at the picture until a wave of realization washed over his face.

“Oh my gosh, you’re totally right! That’s him!” Connor exclaimed. “Oh, Heavenly Father, he probably heard us bitching about what happened to Brian.” His face became paler at the thought. Kevin grimaced, agreeing that it was likely. The two started to wrap up their meal, and Kevin asked Connor if he wanted to hang out in his room. Connor frowned as he glanced at his watch.

“I’m sorry, Kev. I’d love to, but I actually promised Jake I’d study Persuasive Communication with him in a few minutes.”

_Jake?_

“That’s okay,” Kevin smiled at his boyfriend. “Who’s Jake?”

“He and I sit next to each other in class. I just met him this semester,” Connor explained. “I think he’s a Communication major. We have an exam tomorrow and he asked me if I’d study with him.”

“Okay, cool! Hope you have a good time and get lots of studying done,” Kevin told Connor earnestly.

“Thanks, Kev, I’ll text you when we’re done. I love you.” Connor leaned in and kissed Kevin goodbye.

“I love you too,” Kevin smiled. He watched his boyfriend leave the cafeteria and head towards the library where he’d be meeting Jake. Kevin was, admittedly, a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be cuddling with Connor while watching Netflix that night, but he was happy that his boyfriend was being proactive in his classes and making friends. Kevin stood up and discarded their trays before walking back to his dorm room.

_Well, at least one benefit from all of this is that I can get a head start on some of my own homework. It’s probably for the best that Connor’s busy tonight anyway. I don’t want my grades to drop because I’m spending too much time with him._

Other than homework and studying, Kevin’s night was mostly uneventful. Arnold came back to the room and talked to Kevin for a bit before going to sleep while Kevin continued his work. As promised, Connor texted Kevin when he was finished studying, around 11:30 at night.

**(Connor): Hey Kev! Just got back to the dorm. I think we’re ready for this exam, thank God. Hahaha I’m pretty tired though, so I think I’m gonna get to bed.**

**(Kevin): Hey! I’m glad to hear that! I’m sure you’ll do great. :) And no problem—we can talk more tomorrow. Goodnight! I love you! <3 **

**(Connor): I love you too! <3**

Kevin smiled dumbly at his phone. He will never get sick of hearing—or reading—“I love you” from Connor. He put down his phone and finished up what he was working on for the night before going to bed as well.

***

Kevin woke up the next morning bright and early, ready to tackle another day of P1 classes. He sent a quick “good morning” text to Connor and wished him luck on his exam. He worked his ass off in classes that morning, so he was very grateful for lunch to roll around. He and Connor did not have the same lunch time, due to Mother Mary’s limited amounts of classes and scheduling problems, so Kevin took advantage of the extra time to relax or catch up with homework most days. That day, since he worked ahead last night, Kevin decided to watch Netflix while he ate. After finding a lunch that somewhat appealed to him (the cafeteria food got old after three years of eating there just about every day), Kevin found a small table and started to queue up the next episode of _MINDHUNTER_ when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Kevin looked up and found a choir member looking intently at him. He took out his earbuds and smiled at him.

“Hey, Brennan, what’s up?” he asked. He didn’t know why Brennan wanted to talk to him. It wasn’t like he knew the guy very well, since he only joined choir that year and the two didn’t really talk too much.

“Kevin, I don’t really want to tell you this, but I think you deserve to know,” Brennan said, biting his lip. Kevin scrunched his eyebrows together.

“Know what?” he asked.

“Look, I don’t know for sure what I saw, but I was at the library last night and Connor seemed pretty chummy with another guy there.” Kevin was taken aback.

“What do you mean by “chummy?” I know he was studying with a classmate for an exam they had today,” Kevin explained.

“I don’t know, man. They were laughing a lot and kinda touching each other,” Brennan recalled. Kevin felt his face heat up and his heart start to race.

“Well, Connor’s an af-affectionate person. Y-you know that,” Kevin countered weakly.

“Like I said, I don’t know anything for sure. I’d just be careful, alright?” With that, Brennan walked away.

“Bye,” Kevin whispered softly to no one. He stared blankly at the table for a few minutes, breathing deeply to try to ward off any impending panic attacks.

_He was out really late last night. They were supposedly studying for three and a half hours. That seems like a long time to study for a Communication exam. Though I guess it’s hard for different reasons than science classes. But it still seems long. And he didn’t really want to talk to me after he got back to his room. But he said he was tired. But why was he tired? What was he doing that made him so tired? Studying, because that’s what he told you he was doing. You trust Connor. You love Connor. He loves you. You’re fine. But what if you’re not? What if this Jake guy is trying to steal Connor away from you? What if Connor wants to be stolen away? Okay, Connor isn’t a **thing** to be stolen. He’s a person. But what if you lose him? What if he doesn’t love you anymore? _

His mind was spinning, he felt his body shaking, and he lost his appetite. He grabbed his phone, put in his earbuds, and turned on his playlist full of songs that typically helped to calm him down. He forced himself to focus on the music that was playing instead of the intrusive thoughts and the information he had just gotten from Brennan. He glanced down at his left arm and stared at the soulmate mark that was engraved on his body ever since he and Connor bumped into each other that first time. Usually that would give him a sense of security.

This was not “usually.”

Kevin decided to call his best friend. Typically Kevin would turn to Connor for help when he was in the middle of a bad anxiety or panic attack, but Connor also wasn’t usually the subject of the attack these days. Arnold picked up on the second ring.

“Hey best friend! What’s up?” Arnold said cheerfully. Kevin only managed a sniffle in response. “Wait, what’s wrong?” his tone changed from cheerful to concerned.

“I-I don’t know,” Kevin hiccupped. “Brennan told me—”

“Pause. Who’s Brennan?” Arnold interrupted.

“Guy from choir.” Kevin continued, “Anyways, he told me that Connor was acting suspicious with this other guy.” Kevin’s speech became frantic and higher pitched as he explained. “And basically it sounds like he’s cheating on me, or planning to cheat on me, or something and I don’t know what to do because I love him and he’s my soulmate, but what if he doesn’t love me anymore. What if I’m not good enough for him. He’s going to become distant and—” Kevin gasped for air and Arnold interrupted him again before he could get another word in.

“Kevin, take a deep breath. I want you to focus on me and pay attention to my instructions. We’re going to do an activity together, okay? I need you to focus. Find five things that you can see and say them to me, okay?”

“Okay… I see a table. My sandwich…my earbuds. A group of people studying…books…” Kevin said breathily.

“Good, good job, Kev. Now what are four things you can feel or touch?” Arnold encouraged.

“Umm, my phone. Uh, the table again…my jeans…umm…my skin…” Kevin’s voice was slightly sturdier, but still not completely there.

“Good. Three things you hear, Kev,” Arnold requested.

“Your voice. Uh, other people talking…and an oven beeped,” Kevin said a little more confidently. He was feeling slightly more grounded.

“Great, what are two things that you smell?” Arnold continued with the exercise.

“Chicken and burning,” Kevin answered, sounding much calmer.

“Okay, that’s probably not good,” Arnold chuckled. “Finally, what’s one thing you can taste?”

“I guess kind of my sandwich?” Kevin responded, feeling much better. “Thanks, Arnold. I really needed that.”

“Anytime, buddy! What are friends for? I’m glad you’re okay now.”

“Yeah, me too…”

“Look, I’m sure whatever this Brandan guy said, it was just a misunderstanding,” Arnold assured Kevin.

“Brennan. But yeah, you’re probably right. Well, I’m going to have to head to class. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Sure thing, buddy! Have fun!” With that, they hung up. Kevin did feel significantly better, but some worry still lingered in his head. He only hoped that Arnold was right, and that this Jake guy was nothing to worry about.

***Connor***

“So, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure I nailed that exam!” Connor told Jake, clearly excited as they walked out of their Persuasive Communication classroom. The exam had taken the entire period for most students, but Connor felt confident.

“Oh, for sure! And I couldn’t have done it without you,” Jake responded, opening his arms for a hug. Connor gave him one, being a hugger, himself.

“Hey, it’s no problem! Teaching other people material honestly helps me a lot anyways. I usually just go off on tangents to Kevin, but he’s a PA major, so most of what I’m talking about kinda goes over his head, but he doesn’t mind,” Connor said happily. If Connor had been paying better attention, he would have noticed the light in Jake’s eyes fade a little at the mention of Kevin, but he recovered quickly enough that Connor didn’t see it.

“Well, I still feel like I should properly thank you. Lunch is on me?” Jake offered.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Connor attempted.

“I know. But I want to,” Jake insisted.

“Well…okay. But I’m going to order the most expensive food,” Connor teased. Jake laughed.

“Whatever you want,” he replied. The two walked to the cafeteria to get lunch together. Connor decided on a cheeseburger and a soda.

“What happened to you being an expensive date?” Jake jested. Connor laughed, but felt slightly uneasy by the “date” talk.

“Eh, I wasn’t feeling it,” Connor shrugged off the comment. “It’s too bad Kevin has his lunch period during Persuasive. It would have been fun to eat together! You guys will definitely have to meet at some point. I think you’d really like him. He’s easily my favorite person in the world,” Connor gushed. Jake forced a smile and agreed, but Connor was too trapped in a daydream about his boyfriend to notice the sudden change in mood.

“Right. So what do you typically do for fun here? I don’t remember ever seeing you around before at any events or anything, and you’ve got too pretty of a face to forget,” Jake remarked. Connor laughed nervously.

“Well, I’m involved in the choirs on campus, I go to the monthly massages, and I’ve been to some of the campus events, but I hang out with my group of friends more frequently, I guess,” Connor explained. There was something about Jake’s demeanor and what he said that put Connor on a slight edge, but he decided to ignore it.

“Well, we’re going to have to change that, aren’t we? Come on, it’s your senior year! You have to start doing more campus stuff before it’s too late! Look, there’s a mystery trip that Mother Mary runs every year. Signups are approaching soon, and they always sell out really quickly. You should sign up to go on it with me,” Jake suggested.

“A mystery trip? Where do you go?”  


“That’s the mystery. You board a bus and wake up in a new city.” Connor scrunched his nose.

“That sounds…kind of sketchy…”

“It’s fun! And it’s safe. The school runs it. Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I’ll think about it. It also depends on when it is, because sometimes I go home for the weekend or I have choir events,” Connor explained.

“Well, let me know if you do it or not,” Jake responded. Connor mulled it over in his head.

_It could be a fun adventure. And he’s right: it is my last chance to do something like that through Mother Mary… Maybe I will sign up for it. I’ll have to tell Kevin about it. He might want to do it too._

“Will do,” Connor replied. The two had a pleasant end to their lunch before Connor said goodbye and headed off to his next class: Literature of Medicine, the last of his general education class requirements. Kevin laughed when Connor told him he was taking the class since the other choices for that requirement either filled up or he had no interest in them. His boyfriend promised to help him with the material if he needed it, but so far the class wasn’t too bad, despite Connor’s lack of excellence within science fields. Even better, Kathryn was taking the class as well, so he at least had a friend in the class.

“Hey, Connor! How are you doing?” Kathryn smiled, placing her phone in her backpack.

“Hey, Kathryn! Not too bad, I think I did pretty well on my Persuasive Communication exam today, so that’s good at least.”

“Hey, congratulations! That’s awesome—it’s not an easy class! I’d say that and Comm Theory were probably the hardest for me.” 

“Thanks! How are you?”  


“Eh, not too bad. I can’t really complain too much,” she laughed.

“Well, that’s good,” Connor smiled at her. He and Kathryn have grown pretty close over the past couple years, something he was grateful for. She shared his enthusiasm for theatre, dogs, and art, among other things. Not to say that Kevin or any of his other friends didn’t like those things, but she really was able to meet him at the same level of enthusiasm like no other friend.

“Are you and Kevin up to anything tonight? If you’re free, we could watch a movie or musical or something together. Or just hang out and talk,” Kathryn offered.

“Kevin has this big midterm coming up and I do have to write a paper tonight, but it shouldn’t take too long, only a couple hours at most.”

“Wanna meet in my dorm around eight?”

“Perfect!” Connor smiled.

“It’s a date,” Kathryn joked. Connor laughed. Class started shortly after, but Connor could not pay much attention. Instead, his mind was reflecting on the similarities and differences of what Kathryn and Jake individually said.

_Why did it feel kind of weird when Jake joked about me being his date, but when Kathryn just did it, it felt fine? Maybe I’m just more comfortable with her? That must be it. Me and Kathryn became super close within the past two years. I only just met Jake this semester. I need to get to know him better before we joke about dates, right? He obviously didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just overreacting. It’s fine._

***

Later that night. Connor made his way over to Kathryn’s dorm. His paper took even less time than he was expecting, so he was able to relax until their agreed upon time. He had texted Kevin during this period, but he had not responded. Connor did not take it to heart though, figuring his boyfriend was just busy studying for his midterms. He let Kevin know that he would be hanging out with Kathryn that night and that he loved him before heading over to her dorm. Kathryn met him at the door and the two headed up to her room.

“Sooo I have some news,” Kathryn eagerly told Connor once she closed her door.

“And what’s that?” Connor asked.

“I might have met someone,” Kathryn answered with a smile. Connor broke out into a grin.

“Wait, seriously?! Who is it? Where’s your mark?” Connor exclaimed, analyzing Kathryn’s arms and neck for her soulmate mark, realizing that he never noticed where it was. She laughed.

“Well, we haven’t had any physical contact just yet, but…I don’t know. There’s just something about him. I have a really good feeling. His name is Robert. He is two years behind us, but he’s really sweet and funny. I met him in one of my classes and we’ve just been talking more and more. I think we’re flirting with each other too? But yeah, so we’ll see where this goes,” she explained dreamily.

“Aww, Kathryn, that’s awesome! I really hope he’s the one and that he’s good to you. You deserve a good guy.” Connor hugged her. He meant it. He knew that over the years, Kathryn had formed crushes on plenty of guys, only to be, well, crushed in the end. It got to a point where she had sworn that she would not fall for another guy until graduation or she got her mark for sure. She had seemed serious about it, so this guy must have really been something. He hoped with every ounce of his being that this Robert guy was the right one. She deserved to find her person. Connor had a wonderful life before he got together with Kevin, and he felt like it only got better with each day he spent with him. He infinitely brightened up his life. Connor honestly could not picture his life without Kevin at this point, nor did he want to.

The two friends ended up watching the first two _Pitch Perfect_ movies together before calling it a night. Kevin had responded to Connor around the halfway point of the first movie, telling him to have a good time. Connor was slightly concerned about the way that Kevin was acting, but pushed it to the back of his head, telling himself that Kevin was probably just stressed out from his exams and coursework. He decided to talk to him about it after the movies. After he left Kathryn’s dorm, he swung by Kevin’s dorm and called him to let him know he was outside. When Kevin opened the door for him, Connor frowned. Kevin looked, for a lack of words, horrible. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot. He had definitely been crying, but for what, Connor had no idea.

“Babe, what happened? What’s wrong?” Connor asked, concerned. Kevin wordlessly led him to his dorm room and Connor had no choice but to silently follow him. Once the door closed behind them, Kevin erupted into tears. Connor ran over to him and held him close, stroking his hair in an attempt to calm him down. When he pulled away, Connor wiped at the stream of tears flowing down Kevin’s face. “Kevin, please talk to me. Why are you upset?” Connor pleaded.

“D-do you love me?” Kevin choked out. Connor stared at him in shock for a moment.

“Do I love you? Of course I love you! I love you more than anything. What would make you ask that?” Connor asked, puzzled. “Baby, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. Why would you question that?” Kevin remained silent, though his tears had stopped streaming down his face so hard.

“I don’t know,” Kevin replied quietly, suddenly finding his floor very interesting. Connor frowned. He felt like Kevin was hiding something from him, but he didn’t push it any farther for fear of upsetting Kevin even more. Instead, he walked Kevin over to his bed and the two silently cuddled as Connor intermittently kissed his head until Kevin eventually fell asleep. Once Kevin was in a deep sleep, Connor let himself out of the dorm, being sure to leave a note for Kevin to find when he woke up. He locked the door from the outside and slipped Kevin’s key under the door before heading to his own dorm. While walking in the cool night, Connor’s head plagued him with thoughts of why. He had no idea why Kevin was feeling insecure and it bothered him to know that what he was doing clearly wasn’t helping. Kevin never seemed unsure of their relationship before, so Connor racked his brain for what changed. He came up with nothing, put pledged to himself to do better. Whatever that would entail, he had no clue.

The next morning, Kevin acted as though nothing had happened, which confused Connor to no end. When Connor tried to bring it up, Kevin brushed it to the side and changed the topic, clearly signaling that he did not want to talk about it. Connor conceded, but still worried about Kevin’s mindset. However, he figured that if Kevin had any problems, he would tell him. They had a secure relationship where they could tell the other anything. So Connor decided to trust Kevin’s decision and hope for the best. Their relationship was more or less normal again, so he figured it couldn’t have been anything too bad.

He prayed this decision wouldn’t kick him in the ass later on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the Father O'Hara dialogue is strongly inspired by real dialogue that has been said to me, I'm sorry to say. XD
> 
> When it rains, it pours... I felt really bad for Kevin throughout this chapter. He's not having an easy time. :(
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and/or leaving kudos!! It really means a lot to me that people are enjoying my story! :) The drama only continues, so stay tuned for the next chapter where tensions build amid travels. ;)


	4. Take A Look in These Big Blue Eyes and You’ll Understand

***Kevin***

As it turned out, Connor was able to sign up for the Mystery Trip, and so were Kevin and Jake. The morning of the trip, Kevin and Connor met up with each other in the Student Union Center at 5:15. Kevin walked over to Connor, carrying his backpack and slightly cranky because of how early it was and because he didn’t have enough time to make himself a coffee. Connor greeted Kevin with a kiss and reached to the table behind him to pick up one of the two thermoses he had out of sight. Kevin looked down at the thermos—a red Mickey Mouse thermos—and took it from Connor’s outstretched hand.

“I figured some coffee would do you good for our trip,” Connor explained with a smile.

“God, I love you,” Kevin sighed happily, leaning in for a second kiss which Connor gladly accepted. “Thank you. Hot chocolate in yours?” Kevin asked, nodding to the purple thermos with a pattern of brown alpacas on it.

“You bet,” Connor grinned.

“Connor! You made it!” a smooth, masculine voice exclaimed. Kevin turned around to see a guy around their age with longer, but not quite shoulder length dark brown hair and a goatee, wearing a black hoodie and jeans. He was grinning at Connor, and barely seemed to notice Kevin standing right next to him. A warning bell went off in Kevin’s head, but he did his best to push it down.

“I did! Kevin, this is Jake. Jake, this is my boyfriend, Kevin,” Connor introduced the two. Kevin forced a smile and shook Jake’s hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Kevin offered. Jake gave a small smile and nodded curtly, not adding anything to the sentiment. Before Connor could interject with anything, the girl in charge of campus activities began to get everyone’s attention.

“Okay guys! I’m really excited that you all signed up for this trip! We’re going to take roll and then board the bus. Once we get closer to our mystery location, we’ll give you pamphlets about it so you can start to figure out what you want to do,” she explained. “When I call your name, please say something and walk over to the doors. Peter Beck?”

“Here,” a boy with blonde hair raised his hand and made his way over to the doors.

“Jacob Brewer?”

“That’s me,” Jake raised his hand and walked over to the doors as well, not without smirking at Connor.

“I don’t get a good vibe from that guy,” Kevin murmured to Connor. Connor gave him a befuddled look.

“Who? Jake? Jake’s a nice guy. You’re gonna love him,” Connor assured. Kevin was pretty sure it would be the opposite, based off of how Jake had acted so far, but didn’t push the subject any further. The roll call continued on until Laura Tanner, the last name on the list, was called. Kevin and Connor were anxious to board the bus already and begin the journey to wherever they were going. The group finally got the “okay” to board the charter bus after some last minute checks. Connor and Kevin snagged seats three rows back from the front, sitting next to each other.

“I’m so excited!” Connor exclaimed, bouncing in his seat a little. Kevin chuckled and pecked him on the cheek.

“Me too,” he murmured in response, fitting his head in the crook of Connor’s neck. Kevin fell asleep for about twenty or so minutes while inhaling the Connor scent that made him feel at home. When he woke up, the sun was slowly starting to rise. Kevin carefully untangled himself from Connor and stared out the window at it.

_The sun rises in the east, and since it is rising on my left, that must mean that we’re traveling south so far…_

Kevin glanced at Connor to find him still fast asleep. The sight put a smile on Kevin’s face. His boyfriend’s mouth was slightly agape as it let out little puffs of air. He looked peaceful, and Kevin’s heart clenched with affection for the boy. The bus hit a particularly bad pothole that threw everyone out of their seats and momentarily into the air, waking up and startling everyone. Connor groaned and stretched his legs as best he could in the limited legroom of the bus. Kevin smiled at him and pecked his cheek. Connor looked up at him smiling, and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

“I think we’re heading south, if my calculations are correct. The sun rises in the east and it’s on our left, so…” Kevin explained to Connor. He pursed his lips together when Connor began to chuckle. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, sweetheart. I just really love that you figured it out that way instead of just opening Google Maps or something on your phone,” Connor stated, giving Kevin a kiss.

“Oh, yeah, I guess I could have done that too. But it’s a good thing to know in case you can’t use your phone for whatever reason,” Kevin defended.

“It is.” The two talked quietly with each other until it was about two hours into the trip and it was announced that they were travelling to Baltimore, Maryland. Kevin and Connor looked down at the pamphlet that was given to them and started to plan out spots they wanted to check out.

“Okay, so we should definitely check out Edgar Allen Poe’s Grave. And the Basilica would probably be really cool to see too,” Kevin commented.

“For sure! It looks like the Basilica is really close to the Washington Monument too. And obviously we’ll have to spend time in the Inner Harbor area,” Connor replied, examining the map printed on the pamphlet. “The rest of our sightseeing we can just determine as we go.”

“I’m so excited to explore the city with you!” Kevin said, bumping their noses together.

“Me too!” Connor replied before leaning in for a kiss. Soon enough, the bus arrived in Baltimore and dropped the students off in front of the Baltimore Aquarium in Inner Harbor. Once they were off the bus, Connor pulled out his phone and tapped on the Snapchat app.

“Picture?” Kevin asked, grinning.

“GOOD MORNING BALTIMORE!” Connor sang as he took a video of him and Kevin in the middle of Inner Harbor. Connor inspected it after it was finished. “I’d say that’s a keeper,” he remarked, watching his video-boyfriend laughing in the background. Kevin hugged him from behind, agreeing.

“So, where are we headed first,” a voice asked. Kevin turned around and suppressed a sigh when he saw that it was Jake.

_Great. Don’t tell me **he’s** coming with us. I thought it was just going to be me and Connor… Lovely. Just lovely. _

Well, I know Kev wanted to check out Poe’s grave, so I thought we’d maybe hit that up first after we get a look at Inner Harbor,” Connor smiled, oblivious to Kevin’s disdain for Jake.

“Sounds good,” he replied. The three boys started to walk along the harbor, admiring all of the sights. “What’s that over there?” Jake asked. There was a monument of some sort set up a few feet away with what appeared to be huge, bent steel columns piled onto a marble platform. Behind it was a building with the words “The World Trade Center.”

“It’s a 9/11 Memorial,” Kevin stated, looking at the long list of names of people from Maryland who lost their lives that day engraved into the marble. As he walked around the memorial, he found a timeline of the events and tragedies that took place that day eighteen years ago. He called Connor’s and Jake’s attention to it and the three stared at it in a solemn silence.

_Dear Heavenly Father, please put an end to terrorism and please protect us all in our day-to-day lives. I have no memories from this horrific day, but I still feel its effects and the fear that stemmed from it still all these years later. Please keep us safe. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen._

The boys walked away from it after a few moments of silence, reflection, and prayer. Soon enough, they were chattering away once again. They got to a part of the harbor that had about thirty dragon paddle boats lined up in a row. Beside them were a large flock of birds, ranging from ducks and mallards to pigeons.

“Look at how cute the paddle boats are!” exclaimed Connor. Kevin was personally more amused by the eleven birds who were just hanging out by the water, totally unbothered by the people around them.

“Guys, look at the ship!” Jake said in awe. Kevin looked over at it and his mouth dropped open. It was huge and looked like the pirate ships Kevin used to be obsessed with as a little boy. Judging by the front of the ship, it was called the Constellation. It was glorious. Connor looked over at Kevin, giving him a smirk.

“You want your picture in front of the ship?” he asked. Kevin nodded, wide eyed.

“I would very much like my picture in front of the ship.” Connor chuckled and backed up, making sure to get both Kevin and the entire ship in the shot. Kevin looked absolutely thrilled in the picture. The three continued their walk down the harbor until they reached a relatively empty picturesque view of not only the harbor, but also some of the skyline. The only person in sight was a man doing an early morning jog.

“Excuse me,” Connor stopped him. “Would you be willing to take a picture of the three of us?” he asked.

“Sure, no problem!” The man took Connor’s phone and took a few shots of the three of them with Connor in the middle, since Kevin and Jake were closer in height to each other.

“Thanks so much!” Connor said earnestly. The man smiled at him and handed back the phone. 

“Sure thing! So, uh, are you guys from out of town?” he asked.

“What was your first clue?” Jake joked.

“Yeah, we go to a college in Pennsylvania. Our school ran a trip where we pay $10, get on a bus, and they drop us off in a random city,” Kevin explained.

"Oh, wow…cool! Well, go eat a crab cake or something! Enjoy Baltimore!” the man laughed and waved goodbye.

“Thanks!” the three shouted after him. Connor decided that they should start on their walk to Edgar Allen Poe’s grave. He brought up the coordinates on his phone and the three began the approximately twenty-minute walk. After quite some time to make small talk and get to know each other, they finally reached the graveyard. At the front of it, there was a large monument honoring Poe and his family where he and his mother-in-law and wife were buried, as well as a long plaque detailing his background. As they wandered further into the graveyard, they found Poe’s original gravesite with a headstone explaining the reason for the move in burial, as well as a topper of a raven, stating “Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.” They walked past some much more eroded gravestones that writing was no longer clearly visible on. After they spent time in the graveyard, the group decided to make the trek to the Baltimore Basilica, which was an additional fifteen or so minute walk. To get there, the boys had to walk through the city.

“Hm, just breathe in the sweet smell of weed,” Jake deadpanned. Connor snorted.

“Oh yes, such a great smell,” Kevin rolled his eyes. The smell of weed always made Kevin feel lightheaded, so he was not a fan of being around the drug. The worst he had ever experienced was at a Pride Parade he went to with Connor over the summer. The smell was very prominent and made both of them feel off. Though, the streets of Baltimore were currently a close second. After a decent amount of walking and feeling on edge, the boys made it to the Baltimore Basilica. They were immediately greeted by a large, white building with three doors, the one in the middle being the tallest. When they entered through the door to their right (the large middle door was not usable, much to their disappointment), Kevin felt an almost overwhelming feeling of peace, despite not even being Catholic. He observed the stunning artwork and architecture, the large organ in one of the balconies, the dome at the center of the Basilica, and the intricate aspects of each artifact. His eyes lit up even more when he spotted a certain instrument to the left of the altar area.

“Con, look! It’s a harpsichord!” Kevin whisper-yelled, not wanting to cause a disturbance in the middle of the Basilica. Connor looked in the direction Kevin was pointing and grinned widely.

“Oh, we need to take a picture of it and show Brian!” Connor suggested.

“Oh my God, we totally should,” Kevin agreed, snapping a few angles of the Baroque instrument.

“Hey guys, there’s a tour group going downstairs. I think they said there’s a crypt down there,” Jake informed. The boys quickened their pace to catch up to the tour group, not wanting to miss anything. The crypt was underground, so it was a bit cooler and darker down there. It too had a calming atmosphere. The boys followed the group and listened to the guide rattle off interesting facts about that part of the Basilica, and even found a pew that Mother Theresa had prayed in. They also found an area of the crypt where a few bishops were buried. By the end of the tour, Kevin felt as though he had an even better appreciation for not only the Catholic faith, but any Christian faith. The boys emerged from the crypt, passing through the main area of the Basilica once more before exiting the building. They all agreed to have a little downtime before moving on to their next stop: the Washington Monument.

***Connor***

Connor was thrilled to find a park in Mount Vernon Square Park near the Basilica that was not overly populated. It had a few statues and a large fountain in the middle of it. The boys sat by the fountain and just relaxed in the sunlight for a moment. Connor looked over at Kevin leaning back on his hands, sunglasses on, with a small, content smile on his face. Connor absolutely melted. He noticed Kevin’s eyes were closed, so he carefully stood up from his spot on the edge on the fountain and took a candid picture of his boyfriend. He quietly sat down again and pecked him on the cheek affectionately, making Kevin’s smile grow wider. After relaxing in the park for a little longer just before the spot, the three got up from their spots and walked the short distance to the Washington Monument, just a few feet away. They wandered inside to find a number of placards with information on them about George Washington and some of the history of the United States. They did not feel like paying to get up to the top, so they just stayed on the bottom floor and looked around a bit. A tour guide stopped them as they were leaving.

“Hey guys, how are you doing?” he asked. Connor and Kevin smiled at him.

“Pretty good, how are you?” Kevin smiled.

“Doing well, thanks. So, what brings you three here, other than the usual tours?”

“Our college ran a mystery trip to Baltimore, so we’re pretty much just trying to hit up as many spots as we can,” Connor explained.

“Is that so? Well, a spot that I would personally recommend is the Peabody Library. Did you guys see that yet?” The boys shook their heads. “Oh, well, that’s a must-go. It’s an absolutely beautiful place. People even get their wedding pictures taken there sometimes. You’re going to want to go out those doors and take a left. You can’t miss it,” he explained.

“Thank you so much! We’ll definitely check it out!” Connor said gratefully.

“Anytime, boys. Enjoy the rest of your day in the city!” The boys thanked the tour guide once again and said goodbye, making their way to the Peabody Library. Connor was intrigued, although he was also very hungry. They found the library easily and made their way inside. After navigating the entrance and hallways, they walked into the actual library and immediately were struck by the beauty of it.

“Holy shit, it looks like it came straight out of _Harry Potter_!” Kevin whispered, in awe. There were six floor levels of books, encompassing the entire room, with large desks in the middle of the room and large skylight serving as the ceiling. It was gorgeous. The boys took a few pictures of the space and got a group picture together. As Jake wandered off to look at some of the books, Kevin and Connor asked one of the staff members to take a picture of the two of them in the center of the room, back to back and holding hands. After about a half hour or so inside the building, the boys decided to make their way back to Inner Harbor to get some lunch, gushing about the sights they had encountered so far during their walk.

They made it back around 1pm, and the boys were understandably very hungry. They decided to go to UNO since it was close by and had something that everyone was in the mood for. Once they went inside, the host asked if they wanted to sit inside or outside.

“You know what? It’s a nice day. Why don’t we eat outside?” Jake suggested. Connor and Kevin exchanged a look and shrugged at each other.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Kevin agreed. The host walked them out to a table right along the railing of the pavilion with a perfect view of the harbor.

_Gosh, it honestly feels like such a dream to be here. Everything is so beautiful. Between the sights and the smell of the saltwater, I really just feel so peaceful here…I wonder how Kevin would feel about moving here?_

“So, who’s ordering drinks?” Connor asked, glancing over the menu.

“I might. I mean, we don’t have to drive anywhere because we took a bus. Plus, we’re in freaking Baltimore. Why not treat ourselves?” Jake commented. A waitress came by their table and the three of them ordered waters to start with. After looking over the lunch menu and everyone felt ready to order, Connor placed his drink order in.

“Okay. So, can I have the Sunset Blush Sangria?” Connor asked, handing the waitress his ID. After checking that he was 21, she nodded. “And could I have the Bacon Me Happy Burger, well done, please?”

“Sure thing. Fries okay as the side?”

“Yep! Thanks!” Connor smiled.

“How much are the Margaritas?” asked Jake.

“$8.99.”

“Eh, never mind,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Could I have the Herb Rubbed Chicken with fries and steamed broccoli?”

“You bet. And for you?”

“Could I please have the Baked Buffalo Chicken Mac & Cheese?” Kevin asked.

“Absolutely.”

_Holy shit. Is no one going to order any alcohol besides me? Do I look like an alcoholic being the only one drinking? Why did they back out at the last second? Oh my God. Wh—_

“Oh! Could I also have a glass of the Moscato?” Kevin added, handing her his ID as well.

_Thank God._

You got it. I’ll be right back with your drinks,” the waitress smiled at them before leaving their table. The boys had a great rest of their lunch and enjoyed their food and drinks immensely. After splitting the checks and paying, they left through the restaurant, only to go outside once again. Kevin felt slightly woozy as they walked outside, not really knowing if it was from the alcohol or the heat. When he brought it up to Connor, his boyfriend suggested they stop to get Kevin a drink somewhere. Connor did not notice Jake rolling his eyes behind them. They stopped at a stand along the harbor and Kevin bought a bottle of water there. After drinking some of it, Kevin decided he was starting to feel a bit better and the three continued their trek through Inner Harbor. Kevin led the way, trying to figure out how to spend the remaining time of the trip.

“Fuck,” Connor exclaimed. Kevin swiveled around and stared at his boyfriend quizzically.

“What’s wrong, Con?” Kevin asked. Connor groaned and extended his left arm out to Kevin. Connor’s entire upper arm was an angry red. “Oh, sweetheart, you got sunburnt,” Kevin frowned.

“I’m such an idiot. I didn’t have sunscreen on earlier because I was still wearing my hoodie. I should have put it on the minute I took the hoodie off,” Connor lamented. Kevin inspected Connor’s right arm.

“At least it didn’t get you as bad on this arm,” Kevin tried to console him.

“I’m guessing you got it when we had lunch? I think the sun might have been hitting you more on the left then,” Jake suggested.

“Yeah, probably. Ugh, it hurts so much,” Connor complained.

“I think I have some aloe in my backpack. That should help to get rid of some of the sting,” Jake offered, already digging through his bag.

“Oh, that’d be great, thanks!” smiled Connor appreciatively. He didn’t notice Kevin making a face beside him. Before he could say much more, Jake was already squirting a glob of aloe onto his fingers. He began to spread it on Connor’s sunburn. The ginger winced.

“Ow, shit that hurts,” Connor yelped. Kevin glared at Jake over Connor’s shoulder.

“Sorry, it’s going to sting at first, but it’s drawing the heat out,” Jake apologized. His fingers moved gently across Connor’s upper arm, almost caressing the injury and soothing it beyond the gel. Once a thick layer was on the burn, Jake stepped away admiring his handiwork. “There you go. Just let it soak in and it should help. You’re going to want to keep applying aloe over the next few days, but you’ll be alright.”

“Thanks, Jake. I really appreciate it,” Connor smiled. Jake looked down at the ground before raising his head again and meeting his eyes with a smile in return.

“Anytime.” The two smiled at each other in silence for a minute until Kevin cleared his throat irritably.

“We better get going. The bus picks us up in a little over an hour and we still have a few more places we need to stop,” Kevin stated, grabbing Connor’s hand and stalking off in the direction of the bakery they wanted to check out. Connor glanced at Kevin’s face to see his lips set into a straight line.

_Kevin’s acting kind of weird…Maybe he’s just tired. It’s been a long day and we’ve been up since five this morning…_

Connor squeezed Kevin’s hand. Kevin looked at Connor with the same facial expression, but it slowly relaxed into a smile. He squeezed back as Connor leaned to kiss the side of Kevin’s head, silently conveying _I love you_ to him.

“So, what’s up with this bakery we’re going to, again?” Jake asked, impatiently from behind them. Kevin let out a sigh as Connor turned around to smile at Jake.

“Well, supposedly it’s one of the best bakeries in Baltimore. It’s called Vaccaro’s Italian Pastry Shop. It’s only about a ten- or so-minute walk from where the bus is going to pick us up too, which is a plus! So I figured we could go there for a bit and then hit up a gift shop before we go home,” Connor explained.

“Sounds good.” The three walked the short distance to the bakery and ordered an assortment of cookies for themselves and their friends who did not go on the trip. Jake also picked up a package of “Doggie Biscotti” for his dog at home. The small group made their way back to Inner Harbor, taking in the sights, once again, of the beautiful city. They passed many large ships, a huge anchor, and the beautiful harbor. They made their way into a gift shop and found many funny and cool shirts to act as mementos of their trip. Kevin bought a red shirt that stated “Lord, give me coffee to change the things I can change, and wine to accept the things I can’t” with Baltimore under it, Connor bought a blue “Life is Good” shirt with an anchor and Baltimore on it, and Jake bought a black Edgar Allen Poe shirt. After paying for their shirts, the boys started to make their way back to where the bus would pick them up. As they walked through the center of Inner Harbor, they encountered a man playing the trumpet over another instrumental song. Connor took out his wallet and ran over to the man, throwing a dollar into his case. The man briefly paused his playing to thank him before continuing with the jazz song he was accompanying. Connor glanced down at his watch to make sure they had time to spare and held out his hand to Kevin.

“Dance with me?” Connor asked. Kevin’s face blossomed into a grin that encompassed his entire face. He nodded his head, took Connor’s hand, and put his other hand on Connor’s waist. The two began to silently sway to the music, lost in each other’s eyes. Connor studied Kevin’s face, which was still broken into a smile. Connor let out an airy laugh.

_God, he’s so beautiful. How did I ever get so lucky to have him as my boyfriend, let alone soulmate? I’m definitely the luckiest guy in the world._

Connor briefly noticed Jake awkwardly standing off to the side, avoiding eye contact. He felt a small pang of guilt for not including Jake, but it wasn’t a crime to be affectionate with Kevin in public or in the company of friends. He pushed the unwelcome feeling to the back of his mind and focused in on Kevin once more. The pair danced until the song ended and then the three of them made their way over to the bus. Connor and Kevin all but collapsed into their seats when they reached the bus, not realizing just how exhausted they had been. Connor instantly curled up into Kevin, resting his head on his shoulder and cuddling as best as they could in bus seats. He felt like they really had the most perfect day. The pair fell asleep on each other as the bus made its long journey back to Mother Mary University, peaceful and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is about a month later than I said it would be, and I'm really sorry about that. I just started working as a waitress at a restaurant so a lot of my nights are busy with that, and life in general got a little crazy. :/ Thank you for continuing to read/give kudos/comment! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! :) 
> 
> This chapter was inspired by a Mystery Trip to Baltimore that my college took last year. It was such a fun day and I look forward to visiting Baltimore again once the pandemic is over! All of the places mentioned are real and I highly recommend checking them out if you ever get the chance. And yes, unfortunately like Connor, I too received a really nasty sunburn. Haha


	5. You Take My Hand, Leaving Me Breathless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (belated) Halloween! The plan was to post this partial Halloween chapter yesterday, on the ACTUAL holiday, but my laptop had other ideas and decided not to work. But we're good now. Hahaha Enjoy!!

***Kevin***

The following weekend, Connor had a near all day rehearsal for the upcoming play he would be in, so Kevin took that chance to spend some time one-on-one with Arnold that Saturday. As much as he loved Connor, Kevin needed some best friend time too. The two were playing video games in Kevin’s dorm, Arnold providing the setup for Kevin’s TV. After about an hour of playing _Destiny_ together, Arnold broke the ice, pausing the game.

“So how are things with Connor?” he asked. “We haven’t really gotten the chance to talk in private for a while—things have been cray-cray.” Kevin sat his controller down, allowing a beat of silence to pass by.

“They’re not bad, per say,” Kevin replied thoughtfully. “I mean, Jake is being a dick and I’m almost positive that he’s after Connor, but Connor, at least, doesn’t seem to be receptive to it. When we went on the Baltimore trip, Connor and I had a really nice time, even though Jake tagged along. I don’t know…I’m not sure that Connor even realizes half of this though.”

“What do you mean?” Arnold asked.

“I mean, I don’t think Connor actually realizes that Jake is flirting with him. I think he sees it purely as platonic, which I guess isn’t horrible, but it’s also not really discouraging Jake either,” Kevin explained with a frown. “I don’t know. It’s fucked up to go after someone who’s in a relationship.”

“But Connor kind of did that with you,” Arnold pointed out.

“Yeah, but Natalia wasn’t my soulmate. We were both faking it. Our relationship was a sham. Big difference,” Kevin defended.

“But you were still together,” Arnold persisted.

“Whose side are you on?” Kevin shot back, getting aggravated with his best friend. Arnold put his hands up, expressing surrender.

“Yours, obviously. I’m not saying Jake is right. I’m just pointing out that maybe he doesn’t see it as wrong,” Arnold explained. “Look, I doubt you have anything to worry about. Connor loves **you.** No one else could ever come near,” he assured him. Kevin nodded, wanting to believe Arnold. He did, for the most part, but there was still a tiny part of his brain that the worry still lingered in.

“It’s just like those times when Kylo Ren tried to get Rey to join the Dark Side. By the way, he’s a major asshole, if you forgot. Kylo Ren kept trying to persuade Rey to join him on the Dark Side and reign with him. But Rey is too loyal to her own people and beliefs, so she resists him and continues to follow the ways of the Jedi!” Arnold explained gleefully. Kevin almost laughed at the _Star Wars_ analogy because it was just **so** Arnold, but he did greatly appreciate the effort.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, buddy.”

“Any time, Kev. I gotchu,” Arnold assured him, as he picked his controller back up, ready to unpause the game. Kevin truly believed he did.

*******

The end of October and early November were a very busy time of the year, not only in terms of schoolwork, but also in terms of events. Connor had a group project for his Persuasive class that he had been working on for the last week. Luckily for Kevin, he and Jake were not assigned to the same group, so that gave Kevin some peace of mind while Connor worked on his project with others in the class. Kevin, meanwhile, was busy with his own course work and the stressors within his major. Soon enough, Halloween arrived on a choir night again. As per tradition, Kevin, Connor, and Chris dressed up, as did the rest of the choir. Kevin and Connor decided to dress up as Harry and Ron, respectively, from _Harry Potter_ , while Chris was dressed up as Bob Ross, complete with a big, curly wig and a painting. Kathryn, who was dressed like Leslie Knope from _Parks and Rec_ , got the entire choir goodie bags full of candy and mini cheese balls. Once Schola rehearsal was over and the Chorale members started filing in to join, she handed them out.

“Notice the pencil included in your goodie bag. Now none of you have an excuse for not having a pencil during rehearsal!” Kathryn winked. The choir laughed, but no one laughed harder than Brian, his signature hiccup-laugh echoing through Miller Hall.

“Very good! Thank you, Kathryn,” Brian said kindly, once his laughing fit was over. “Well, you all look very festive! We’ll take a group picture just before rehearsal is officially over. In the meantime, please take out _Kyrie eleison_ and go to measure 32,” Brian instructed. Choir rehearsal went on as usual, all of the students having a great time. As promised, everyone who dressed up—which was most of the choir—got a group picture just before the normal end time. As Kevin and Connor walked out of the Chapel and made their way towards the Metson Student Union to grab dinner at the café, Sam caught up to them.

“Hey guys, you mind if I join you?” she asked. Kevin turned to smile at her.

“Sure thing! We’re going to Metson to grab some dinner.”

“Perfect, that’s where I’m headed too,” she smiled back. The three made the long trek down the hill to Metson and immediately got in line. They all ended up ordering various rice bowls for dinner—Kevin: a black bean rice bowl; Connor: the pesto chicken rice bowl; and Sam: the broccoli cheddar rice bowl. Once they received and paid for their bowls, they entered the small dining area section. They found a four-seater table in a corner of the room that was not heavily populated and took a seat there.

“So how are things going for you, Sam? Is the semester treating you well?” Connor asked in between ravenous bites of his rice bowl.

“Ehh, you know, it’s stressful,” Sam admitted. She was a music major and when she wasn’t in class or choir, she was usually doing an ungodly amount of homework or practicing playing the organ or piano. Kevin felt bad for her. While he also seemed to have never ending work, she seemed to be constantly on the go, with very few breaks.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Kevin replied. “At least you have a bit of a break now!”

“Thank God,” she said, laughing. “Right now my biggest task is composing what’s basically a fugal style piece for the organ.”

“Yikes,” Connor said. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine!” Before Sam could reply, someone else responded.

“Well, **you** certainly look fine.” Kevin looked up and immediately scowled when he saw that Jake had been the intruder to their dinner. He helped himself to the free chair between Connor and Sam, setting down a burrito on the table. He was dressed in normal clothing, clearly not partaking in any Halloween traditions. “Hey, Connor, how are you doing?” he asked, completely ignoring Kevin and Sam.

“I’m not bad. How are you?” Connor asked, seemingly oblivious.

“Mmmm, better now that I’m talking to you,” Jake hummed. Kevin swore he felt steam coming out of his ears.

“I’m glad I can help!” Connor replied cheerfully. Jake put his hand on Connor’s upper arm after he said this. Kevin’s hand clutched his fork tightly as he shoveled more and more rice into his mouth. Jake started to move his fingers as he spoke his next line.

“So, Connor, I was wondering—"

“CONNOR, I NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE OF MY PIECE SO FAR RIGHT NOW.” Sam yelled, interrupting Jake. She jumped out of her seat and wedged herself in between Jake and Connor. “I need to sit,” she said pointedly at Jake. It was not a request, rather a demand. Jake looked at her, stunned. To be fair: Sam did not seem all that intimidating. She was a barely five-foot Asian girl, dressed as Minnie Mouse, who was usually either all smiles or completely shellshocked. Little did many people know, she was also no bullshit. Kevin and Connor witnessed her singlehandedly take down a homophobe who was picking on them two years ago. May her looks not fool you: even though she looked like she couldn’t even harm a fly, those looks could also kill. Jake begrudgingly shifted over to her seat as she took out her headphones and made Connor listen to presumably a voice memo of her piece. Thanks to Sam’s stunt, Jake was no longer close enough to Connor to touch him, but now he was next to Kevin. The two glared at each other as Connor was distracted by Sam’s piece. The piece was not very long, so it was only a minute later that Connor handed Sam her phone back and gave her feedback. Once he saw his chance, Jake got Connor’s attention again from across the table.

"So, Connor, you know what we—"

“Jake, you know what? You’re really hot,” Sam said bluntly, interrupting Jake again.

 _Um, what?_ Kevin was completely confused, and it looked like the other two boys were too.

“Uh, thanks? Anyways, Connor, I was thinking that—”

“Do you work out?” Sam asked. “You look like you work out.”

“Um, yeah, I hit the gym,” Jake replied. He then made direct eye contact with Connor. “I really break a sweat, but it’s worth it when you have these.” He flexed his arm, making a muscle pop out. Kevin gritted his teeth.

“Let’s go out sometime. Can I have your number? Here’s my number.” Sam scribbled out a number on a piece of paper. Jake took it, looking confused.

“Uh, okay, thanks?”

“Yeah, no, just kidding. I’m gay. Peace out, homie.” Sam jumped to her feet. “Connor, walk with me back to our dorm?” she asked innocently.

“Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll see you around, Jake,” Connor replied, semi confused. “Kev, you coming with?” he asked. Kevin nodded his head and stood up, taking what was left of his rice bowl (which wasn’t much) with him.

“I didn’t know you were interested in women,” Connor commented.

“Yeah, I haven’t really told a lot of people yet, but ya know,” Sam shrugged her shoulders. “I told Kathryn and maybe one or two other people, but yeah.”

“Well, thanks for trusting us with that, even though it was a little unorthodox,” Connor chuckled.

“Yeah, we have your back,” Kevin added with a smile. Sam smiled back at them.

“Thanks guys,” she replied. As they walked towards the dorm, Kevin and Sam shared a look of understanding through their eyes, not daring to speak about what just happened with Connor chatting happily right beside them. Kevin realized that Jake would likely stop at nothing to get with Connor. But Kevin was never one to shy away from a challenge.

*****Connor*****

What had originally felt so far away finally came around the corner. The Mother Mary semi-formal, known as Fall Ball, finally arrived, and Kevin and Connor were so excited to dance the night away with each other and their friends. After classes, each boy retired to his own room and got his homework for the weekend done before getting ready for the dance. Connor shrugged his navy jacket over his light blue dress shirt and dark purple tie. Once his outfit was completely put together, he walked over to the sink mirror to style his hair. He worked at it for a few minutes until he was satisfied with the outcome. He finalized his look by spritzing some cologne behind his ears, knowing it would drive Kevin crazy. As he stepped back, analyzing his appearance for any flaws or mishaps, he hoped that his boyfriend would appreciate the effort he put into his look for the night. All that Connor knew was that he could hardly wait another minute to see how undoubtedly handsome Kevin would look.

***

He and Kevin met up in the Student Union Center, where the shuttle buses would be picking the students up. Connor’s mouth dropped open, which he quickly adjusted into a smile. In front of him was Kevin, dressed sharply in a black suit with a light purple dress shirt and royal blue tie. His hair was perfectly coiffed, his brown eyes looked like cinnamon floating in deep pools of milk chocolate, and his smile was absolutely breathtaking. Connor always thought Kevin looked attractive, but sometimes, somehow, he seemed to pull out extra stops that continued to catch Connor off guard.

“Hi,” Kevin said softly, seemingly just as struck as Connor was.

"Hi,” Connor breathed back. “You look amazing.”

“Thank you. So do you,” Kevin replied with a smile. “How did I get so lucky?”

“You mean how did I get so lucky,” Connor smirked, pulling Kevin into his arms.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure I got it right. You’re the one who has it backwards,” Kevin said as he pulled away, moving them towards the long check-in line. Connor grabbed Kevin’s hand, playing with his fingers.

“Not so sure about that…” Connor continued. Kevin rolled his eyes, but let it go—a smart move, considering they would never agree on that statement. They made small talk as the line slowly moved forward. After about ten minutes, they finally made it to the check-in and got the approval to head towards the buses that would be taking them to a nearby hotel. They got on the bus to find Arnold, Naba, Dan, Kathryn, and a few of their other friends occupying the first row of the bus. To Connor and Kevin’s delight, there was a free set behind Arnold and Nabulungi, so they took it. Naba looked back and shot them a brilliant smile. Her makeup was meticulously done and she was wearing a sparkly lavender strapless dress with a black coat, since it was a chilly night.

“Hey! We’re all matching!” Arnold exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear. “What are the chances of that, right New England?” Naba smiled kindly at her boyfriend. It still amazed Connor to no end how horribly wrong Arnold still got her name after three years.

“All three of you boys look very handsome,” Naba told them.

“And you look stunningly beautiful,” Connor told her sincerely. Naba gave him a big smile.

“You are too sweet,” she replied.

“OOGA CHAKA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKA” Dan began chanting out of nowhere. Connor glanced at Kevin with a scandalized expression on his face.

_What the actual fuck is going on?_

“I can't stop this feeling deep inside of me. Girl, you just don't realize what you do to me when you hold me in your arms so tight. You let me know everything's alright.” Dan and increasingly more choir members sang. Connor scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to place the song.

“I'm!” The sung vowel was held as Connor realized the song and joined in.

“Hooked on a feeling! Ba ba da da. I'm high on believing, ba ba da da, that you're in love with me!” The entire first five rows of the bus, mostly filled by fellow choir members, sang the song loudly and happily. Connor grinned at Kevin in between the refrain and the following verse.

_This is what happens when you bring the choir anywhere. It’s moments like this that make me realize just how much I’m going to miss all this._

After the group finished singing _Hooked on a Feeling_ , they decided to break out some past concert repertoire. If anyone was annoyed by their singing, no one said anything. Connor rested his head on Kevin’s shoulder as he sang with the rest of the group, feeling utterly content. After a few more songs, the bus finally arrived at the hotel that the dance was being held in. They excitedly got off the bus and made their way inside to do their second and last round of signing in. After signing in, the group hit up the candy bar provided for all of the students in attendance and also took a round of pictures in the photo booth before it got too crowded. Kathryn suggested that they set their things down at a table before they were all taken. After marking their seats with jackets and purses, the group of friends made their way over to the buffet table. The table was filled with Caesar Salad, Rolls, Rosemary Chicken, Bourbon Beef Tips, Mediterranean Pasta, Grilled Vegetables, and Herb Roasted Potatoes. Connor and Kevin filled their plates with the delicious looking food and found their way back to their seats, stopping briefly at the punch fountain to get a glass of it. The food was just as good as it looked, and everyone had light conversation at the dinner table as slower nostalgic music from the students’ middle school days played lightly in the background. Soon enough, cheesecake was served for dessert, which was just as good as the dinner. Once the friend group finished eating, they decided to make their way to the dance floor as the music began to speed up.

***

The friends had been dancing for about an hour to a variety of songs. Some were newer hits like _Havana_ and _I Like It_ , while some older middle school day bops were also played such as _Yeah_ and _Sexy and I Know It_. The squad jammed out to all of them and had an amazing time letting loose and dancing. Possibly the song most danced and sung to though, was _We’re All In This Together_ from _High School Musical_ , complete with choreography from the movies. Eventually, some trap-like music came over the speakers and Connor and Kevin decided to take a small break, feeling a little out of breath from all the dancing. As Kevin excused himself to go to the bathroom, Connor found his chance to pull Kathryn aside. He didn’t really pay much attention to her appearance until that moment, but upon closer inspection, she looked very pretty. Her honey blonde hair was styled into curls, framing her face and her makeup was meticulously done, sharp cat eye, smokey purple eye shadow, deep red lipstick, and all. She wore a deep purple knee-length, V-neck dress with black satin floral patterns, a sparkly necklace, black stockings, and black heels. Purple weirdly seemed to be a popular color for the event. She looked tastefully attractive.

“No Robert?” he asked. He thought for sure he would see the two of them together, but Kathryn seemed to have gone stag. It’s a shame, really. She certainly would have stopped Robert in his tracks looking like that. She sighed.

“No…I tried to ask him in, I guess, kind of a roundabout way because I was nervous. I asked him if he had a date to Fall Ball, figuring if he says no, it would be because he didn’t have a date, and then I’d be like ‘we could go together!’ But no, that did not happen.”

“Is he with someone else?” Connor asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“No. When I asked him if he was going to Fall Ball, he said no. When I asked why not, he said it was because “too many balls would fall…” I think it was a weird attempt at a joke, but I kind of took it as him letting me down nicely. So, I dropped the topic,” she explained. “But I’m having a great time with friends at least!” she added more cheerfully.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear about Robert. I wouldn’t get too down about it though. It might just be a misunderstanding,” Connor told her with a smile.

“Yeah, maybe,” Kathryn agreed cautiously.

“Well, you look gorgeous anyways, so really he’s the one missing out,” Connor said earnestly. Kathryn gave him a smile, thanking him. They ended their conversation just in time, as Kevin reappeared next to Connor a moment later. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Kevin asked.

“Nosy,” Connor chided teasingly. “If you must know, we were actually talking about how horrible you are,” Connor added mock-seriously. Kathryn attempted to suppress any laughter as Kevin gasped and clutched his heart jokingly.

“I’m wounded.” Kevin said, feigning hurt.

“You should be,” Connor deadpanned. Kathryn laughed.

“You’re so mean,” she told Connor, still laughing. “I’m gonna grab some punch. Do you guys want anything?” The boys told her no, but thanked her. Connor wrapped his arms around Kevin as she left and planted a kiss to the side of his head. It was at that moment that the first slow dance of the night came over the speakers— _Perfect_. Connor held out his hand to Kevin.

“Dance with me?” he asked with a smile. Kevin blushed as he nodded his head and took Connor’s hand. Connor put his free hand on Kevin’s shoulder, as Kevin wrapped his free arm around Connor’s waist, pulling him closer. The two boys swayed gently to the music.

“Darling, you look perfect tonight,” Connor sang along quietly to Kevin, making the boy blush even harder. Connor was amazed that he still had that effect on his boyfriend, even after all this time, but he was most certainly not complaining. It was a very romantic moment for the two and neither wanted it to stop. About halfway through the song, Connor rested his head on Kevin’s chest as they swayed, while Kevin wrapped both of his arms around Connor in adjustment. They stayed like that for the remainder of the dance before the music abruptly switched to _Low_.

“Shawty had them apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, with the fur! The whole club was looking at her, hey!” Connor loudly sang along, dancing admittedly ridiculously, but he did not care in the slightest. He was having fun with his boyfriend and their friends, so he let his guard down a little more than usual. To his delight, Kevin was singing and dancing just as stupidly by his side.

The night continued on similarly, and as it was approaching the end of the dance, Connor and Kevin made their way over to the photobooth one more time to get a set of couple pictures. When it was their turn to go in the booth, Kevin donned a pair of Mickey Mouse ears as Connor wore large black framed glasses, both provided to them by the prop table. They had three opportunities for poses, so they started off with a normal nice pose with their arms around each other, smiling. For their second pose, they decided to do an arms crossed, back-to-back look with faces that said “do not mess with me”—especially convincing from the boy wearing Mickey Mouse ears, of all things. Their final pose was simply them embracing while capturing a kiss on the other’s lips. The pictures turned out nicely, and they collected them on their way out of the booth. By the time they got back to the dance floor, they only had about ten minutes left of the dance, so they immediately found their friends and partied for the remainder of the night. Soon enough, the lights came back on and the students collected their items and made their way to the buses parked out front, waiting to take them back to Mother Mary. Once they got to their seats, Kevin rested his head on Connor’s shoulder and grabbed his hand, lightly squeezing it.

“Thank you,” Kevin whispered. “I had a wonderful time with you.” Connor’s heart swelled in his chest. He planted a kiss on Kevin’s head.

“Me too. I couldn’t have asked for a better night, nor a better person to go with. Thank you too,” he replied softly, meaning every word of it. He felt Kevin smile against his shoulder in response. The two were quiet the rest of the way back to school, tired from the hours of singing and dancing. They walked back to their own dorms, promising to talk tomorrow. A perfect night had come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes:  
> 1) Shoutout to my boyfriend who very kindly gave me a Star Wars analogy to use when I called him out of nowhere and begged him to help me after explaining the situation. You the true MVP, B. <3 (I used his analogy just about word for word, so if anything is wrong, it's on him lol)  
> 2) I 100% also gave my choir members pencils and candy for Halloween when I was a manager. XD  
> 3) Out of all of the college food I miss, I think I miss the rice bowls the most, not gonna lie. And I guarantee that I too have angrily shoveled rice into my mouth at some point or another. XD  
> 4) Sam giving her number to Jake was inspired by a guy in one of my classes who all but flung his email at my friend, insisting she make him a quizlet for our upcoming exam and email it to him (she never did).  
> 5) In a fun coincidence, my last college semi formal was actually a year ago today. Simpler times. XD Also, all of the events in that part were inspired by that exact dance (Even the Ooga Chakas).
> 
> Thank you so so much for reading, commenting, and/or leaving kudos! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! :)


	6. Is It My Fate To Sit and Wait?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is being posted a little late! I had to make homemade ornaments for my job for this Christmas tree contest that we're in, which took up a lot of my week. Enjoy!!

***Kevin***

Thanksgiving was approaching quickly, which meant that the semester was that much closer to being over, much to the chagrin of the seniors. Kevin and Connor were doing their own individual homework in Kevin’s dorm that night when Kevin had an idea. 

“Do you want to go out tonight? Like to a bar or something?” Kevin asked gently, disturbing the quiet that had fell upon them for the last hour or two. Connor looked up from his textbook. 

“Sure, sounds like fun,” Connor agreed easily. Things had been slightly on edge for the two of them recently, starting back in September and slowly building up. That wasn’t to say that things were at a constant state of unease. They still had a lot of fun with each other and had some really great days, but there were definitely some unresolved issues lying in the background. However, both were determined to make it through this riff in their relationship. Kevin figured some liquid courage would help nudge him into talking about what—or, rather, who—had been bothering him recently.

Around nine, with their homework finished, the two got ready to go out to a local bar that was miraculously close enough to walk to. They walked through the doors and immediately sat down at the bar with each other. A bartender made his way over to them and took their orders. 

“Rum and coke, please,” Kevin requested. 

“Two or three shots?” the bartender asked.

“Um…two. Thanks.”

“One margarita on the rocks, salt around the rim, please.” Connor requested. The two sat in a slightly uncomfortable silence for a minute before Kevin decided on what he wanted to say. 

“So, um, I know things have been…strenuous between us recently, and I’m really sorry about that,” Kevin started. Connor angled his body towards him and made eye contact, showing that Kevin had his full attention. “I just… things have been difficult recently. With Brian being let go, grad school kicking my ass, and then this guy—”

“Hey Connor, fancy seeing you here!” an annoyingly familiar voice said. Kevin screamed internally. He turned around in his chair to find Jake standing behind them with an annoyingly smug smile, rubbing his goatee. 

“Hey, Jake! You remember Kevin,” Connor replied with a smile. 

“’Course. Hi, Kevin,” Jake barely spared Kevin a glance, keeping his eyes focused on Connor. Kevin gritted his teeth. 

_It’s like that asshole is fucking psychic. I was finally about to tell Connor how all of that shit made me feel and the shit, himself, strolls into the bar. This bar, out of how many in the area. Just my fucking luck._

“Hi, Jake. Nice to see you again,” Kevin lied through his teeth. He grabbed his rum and coke off of the counter and began to drink more of it. 

_I need a stiff drink to get through tonight._

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom. Watch my drink?” Connor asked Kevin. 

“Of course.” Connor smiled at Kevin and gave him a quick peck before leaving the bar area. Jake hopped onto Connor’s seat, sitting next to Kevin, who held back a groan. 

“Whatcha drinking?” Jake asked, pointing at Kevin’s glass. 

“Rum and coke.”

“How many shots?”

“Just two.” Jake snorted. 

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. You need to stop being so cautious and backwards all the time. Live life a little. Otherwise, a certain someone might get bored and follow a much more interesting crowd,” Jake leered venomously. Kevin drank his beverage quicker and quicker with every word coming out of Jake’s mouth. He drank about half of the tall glass when he shot his hand out, waving down the bartender. 

“Are you actually ordering another drink? That’s not a Kevin thing to do,” Jake commented, curiously narrowing his eyes. The bartender noticed Kevin’s hand and walked over to take his order.

“One water, please,” Kevin requested, feeling slightly lightheaded.

“Ah, that makes sense,” Jake rolled his eyes. “Whiskey for me.” The bartender returned shortly with Jake’s whiskey, but not with Kevin’s water. Connor was still not back at the bar area, and Kevin was getting increasingly irritated by Jake and his mind wasn’t getting any less foggy.

“I think he forgot about my water. But I’m thirsty,” Kevin complained. 

“Then drink that,” Jake pointed to the rum and coke. “It’s a liquid. And it has water in it. Kind of.”

“Yeah! It’s starting to melt down,” Kevin’s tipsy mind decided that the melting ice would do enough to ward off getting too drunk. 

He was mistaken. 

By the time Connor came back to the bar, Kevin felt like the room was spinning.

“So, what’d I miss?” Connor smiled, sipping his margarita. 

“Not much,” Jake replied coolly. Kevin put his head on the bar.

“Kev, are you okay?” Connor asked, worried. 

“Mmmmfff,” Kevin gave a thumbs up without lifting his head. At this point, the bartender finally came with Kevin’s water. He lifted his head and took a long sip, only to nearly spit it out.

“Oh God, this tastes like shit,” Kevin complained. Jake rolled his eyes. 

“Well, maybe you should put a request in to the mayor,” Jake said sarcastically.

“Yeah! Mr. Mayor, sir, you need to make the water taste better. It tastes like shit,” Kevin slurred. Connor smiled sweetly at his idiot of a boyfriend. Jake casually put his arm around Connor’s shoulder. 

“So, can I buy you a drink?” he asked, gesturing to the nearly empty margarita glass in Connor’s hand. Kevin may have been tipsy, but he was conscious enough to see what Jake was doing. He glared at him over Connor’s shoulder, but the boy did not pay him any attention. 

“Eh, I think I’m okay, but thanks. Kevin and I are probably going to head out soon,” Connor said. 

“Oh, come on, you guys just got here. You can’t leave yet!” Jake protested. Connor thought it over for a moment as Kevin continued to glare over his shoulder. 

“Alright, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to stay for a little while longer,” Connor decided.

“Shots on me!” Jake celebrated. He got the attention of the bartender and requested something Kevin couldn’t make out. Kevin was just about to ask Connor a question when three ruby red shots were placed in front of them. 

“Red-Headed Sluts. Drink up boys, we have a night ahead of us!” Jake grinned. He immediately threw one back effortlessly. Connor took a swig of his successfully as Kevin’s shot landed mostly on his face. 

“Fuck,” Kevin muttered. Wiping at his face with his arm fruitlessly. 

“Oh hon…” Connor eyed him with pity as Jake sniggered in the background. 

“I need a napkin,” Kevin requested. 

“They don’t have those here,” Jake taunted him. Connor gave him a look of surprise. 

“For Heaven’s sake, I’m sure they do! Hold on, I’m gonna get the bartender.” Connor jumped off his stool to see if the bartender could track any napkins down. 

“You know, the point of taking a shot is to have it land in your mouth…though I’m guessing you don’t have experience with much of anything going in there, let alone any red-headed sluts,” Jake sneered. The words didn’t completely register in Kevin’s brain until Connor came back over with napkins to wipe at his face and chest. 

“At least you wore black,” Connor consoled, dabbing at his black button down.

“Yeah, it’s one good thing about tonight,” Kevin replied backhandedly, but Connor didn’t seem to notice. Jake was growing impatient. 

“Okay, well now that Kevy’s all cleaned up, why don’t we do another round,” Jake suggested with a mildly biting tone. Connor somehow seemed oblivious to it all, to Kevin’s disgust. 

“Yeah, sure, why not?” Connor agreed easily. 

“Jägerbombs?” Jake grinned. Connor scrunched up his nose.

“Nah, let’s do something sweeter.” He got the attention of the bartender again. “Three Jolly Rancher shots please!” The bartender returned with the shots promptly. 

“Now, Kevin, let’s try to actually get the shot in your mouth this time,” Jake said with a veil of sweetness. Everything around Kevin seemed to be moving in slow motion, yet all too fast at the same time. However, he was not about to let Jake show him up. He gripped his shot and miraculously got all of the liquid into his mouth. It had a sweet watermelon taste to it.

“Another one,” Kevin announced, slamming the shot glass onto the bar. He blinked in an attempt to make the room refocus.

“Are you sure you want another one, Kev?” Connor asked with concern in his eyes. 

“Yeah, you look like you’re about five seconds from passing out,” Jake scoffed. 

“I’m fine,” Kevin snapped. Connor frowned. 

“I’m actually getting kind of tired, hon. Do you mind if we head out now?” Connor asked.

 _Oh, thank Heavenly Father._

"Yeah, that’s fine,” Kevin responded. “Bye, Felicia,” he said to Jake, turning from him before he could even respond. Out of his peripheral vision, he caught a glimpse of Jake giving Connor a hug goodbye. Kevin grit his teeth but didn’t bring it up when Connor joined him at his side, grabbing his hand. Instead, Kevin pointedly gave Connor a kiss on the lips, lingering more than he typically would in public. When Kevin tried to deepen the kiss, Connor pulled away.

“Kevin,” Connor scrunched his eyebrows again. “What’s going on with you tonight?”

"What do you mean? I’m just trying to be affectionate and show how much I love my boyfriend,” Kevin slurred slightly, glancing over Connor’s shoulder at Jake, who was staring back at him with a frown on his face.

“You’re acting really strange, Kev,” Connor shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, are you ashamed of me?” Kevin shot at him, feeling rejected. Connor startled back.

“What? No, of course not! We just…don’t do that much PDA, since…you know…” Connor glanced around nervously, but no one seemed to be paying them much attention. 

“Since what? We have an audience?” Kevin glanced back over at Jake, who was still watching them. 

“Well…yeah,” Connor replied uncomfortably. Kevin’s heart sank as he felt bile creep up his throat. He swallowed hard.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea,” Kevin choked out sullenly. 

_You don’t want Jake to see anything…_

“Let’s just head back,” Connor suggested, looking upset. The pair walked back to campus in silence. In the logical part of his brain, Kevin knew that Connor was likely just worried about homophobia, but the fact that Jake was also there made him wonder if there was any more worry to it than he may be willing to let on. Connor walked Kevin back to his dorm, but Kevin didn’t invite him in. He told him he just wanted to go to bed and Connor didn’t argue with him. Kevin had a hard time falling asleep that night, doubts and anxieties swirling around his head. 

_Tonight was supposed to make things better. So why does everything feel worse?_

***Connor***

Before they knew it, the University Thanksgiving celebration was among them. As per usual, the choir reserved tables to eat at with each other as a family and they had planned a rehearsal afterwards to get one in before break. Everyone was in generally good spirits, although the knowledge that this would be their last family dinner with Brian loomed in the back of everyone’s mind. Nonetheless, everyone filled their plates to the brim with shockingly delicious food from the cafeteria and chattered animatedly amongst themselves. Connor was just lifting a forkful of stuffing up to his lips when he heard a loud voice break through the others.

“Hey guys! What’s happening?” Connor lifted his eyes to find none other than Father O’Hara grinning down at the group. He fought a scowl as Brian, kind as ever, greeted him.

“Mind if I join you guys? I’m excited to get to know you all!” the priest continued on.

“And I’m excited for you to leave,” Sam muttered under her breath. O’Hara clearly did not hear her as he set his plate down a couple chairs away from Connor and the gang, taking the seat between Brennan and Faith, neither of whom looked thrilled with this development. Brian was situated just across from O’Hara, but maintained a smile on his face, though Connor wondered just how genuine it could possibly be. The mood of the tables shifted noticeably, turning from joyous with a hint of melancholy to tense and awkward. Nevertheless, O’Hara attempted to make conversation with his attentive audience that he clearly did not anticipate to have so soon.

“So, uh, what are you all looking forward to this holiday season?” O’Hara asked with a smile, obvious nerves creeping into his voice.

"Seeing my family,” Kathryn responded after a sigh, throwing O’Hara a bone.

“Ahh, yes, family is very important!” O’Hara smiled, pleased with the response.

“Then stop tearing our’s apart,” Dan said under his breath. Sam and Kevin rolled their eyes, silently agreeing. O’Hara clearly did not hear the snide remark, or perhaps he just ignored it.

“I truly hope that we can all become a family,” O’Hara continued. “Group solidarity is my number one concern. Whether or not we sound good is not as important as the choir being together and feeling safe with one another. I want you to get to know me, so feel free to ask any questions you may have,” he concluded with a smile. Connor sighed quietly. It was clear to him that O’Hara was at least **trying** with them. He wanted to hate the guy for being Brian’s replacement, but he at least **seemed** sincere. Connor took a glance at Kevin’s face to find it was in a near pout. Something told him that Kevin did not feel as conflicted as he did about the matter. He grabbed Kevin’s hand from underneath the table and gave him a smile when Kevin’s eyes met his own. It faltered though as he witnessed the tight smile Kevin gave him in return. He attempted to ask Kevin what was wrong through his eyes, but his boyfriend looked away as he pumped Connor’s hand once before letting go. Connor sighed once more. Kevin’s mood towards him seemed very on and off and he didn’t have the slightest clue why. It seemed like one minute things were normal, and then the next minute he seemed pissed off at him. Connor mostly chalked it up to Kevin being stressed over PA-school, but some days he wasn’t so sure. Whenever he brought it up to Kevin before, he pushed it off to the side or changed the subject, so Connor learned to stop inquiring about it. However, it did not make Connor worry any less. He was pulled out of his deep thoughts by O’Hara’s voice.

“I have a great idea!” he exclaimed. “I’m going to come to your rehearsal tonight,” he told—not asked—Brian. Brian looked hesitant at the suggestion.

“I’m not so sure that’s a great idea…we have a lot to cover in this rehearsal because it’s one of our last ones before the concert,” Brian explained. O’Hara laughed.

“Nonsense! That’s all the more reason for me to come! I want to see how you all work when it comes down to the nitty gritty!” O’Hara insisted. Brian looked increasingly apprehensive at the idea, but O’Hara did not seem to be backing down.

“Alright, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have you watch from the pews,” Brian cautiously conceded. O’Hara grinned, pleased with getting his way.

“Wonderful! Let’s wrap up dinner in fifteen minutes and make our way over to the chapel!” he commanded.

“Didn’t take him long to start handing out orders,” Sam muttered to the group. Connor remained silent as he shoveled in the last of the food on his plate so that he could grab a slice of pie before they had to go. Once the fifteen minutes had passed, the group, excluding the managers who left a few minutes early to set up, made their way over to the chapel. Brian ushered everyone to their seats immediately, anxious to start rehearsal. Connor observed O’Hara saunter over to the third pew from the front on the left side of the room. He took a seat, looking thoughtful. It did not take long before he intercepted Brian’s warmups.

“D Major, please,” Brian asked Barb. “No ah no ah no,” he sang an arpeggio and urged the group to follow, moving up the scale. At F Major, O’Hara interrupted.

“I think we can improve the sound that’s coming from our mouths,” he projected, standing up from his seat. Follow me. We want to make sure there’s a lot of room in our mouths and make sure it’s rounded, coming from your belly,” he inched closer to Brian and the group. “WOW!” he formed in a deep voice. He waved his hand, urging the group to try it. He nodded once they complied. “Great! Now, to know how it’s supposed to feel when you have to sing more from your cheekbones, I want you to go mmmhmmmm. Make it real sassy!” he put one hand on his hip and the other on his cheek while jutting and moving his head during the sound. “Mmmmhmmmm!” The group complied, albeit cautiously, and he seemed satisfied again. “Alright, next—”

“I think that’s enough warming up for now. Thank you, Father O’Hara,” Brian cut in, not looking thankful at all. If O’Hara was bothered by Brian interrupting his interruption, he did not let on, rather sitting down once more. Brian closed his eyes in frustration for a half of a second before instructing the group to open their folders to find _Carol for the Coming Dance_. The song was going well until they reached the ending where over half of the choir ‘ah’-ed under a few select singers. The ahs were in six-part harmony and some of the parts could not find their starting note.

“Brian, could the Soprano IIs have their starting note?” Kathryn asked, lowering her hand after Brian acknowledged her.

“Sure, Barb—”

“No, I think they should just try it. Be strong and confident. Just find it yourself,” O’Hara pipped up from the pews. “You’re not going to become a better musician if everything is handed to you.”

“Well, yeah, but we did try and couldn’t get the note right. Isn’t it better to lock in the correct note as soon as possible rather than learn the wrong note?” Kathryn defended.

“Well I just think—”

“Enough!” Brian yelled. The choir grew dead quiet as they weren’t used to hearing Brian **actually** yell all that often. “I am the director of this choir and what I say goes. You’re not in charge of this choir and you won’t be until next year. When that happens, I have no right to tell you how to run your choir, so I expect you to show me the same decency now and stop stepping on my toes.” Brian’s eyes were dark and he was breathing slightly heavily, having exerted himself so much from yelling. For a miraculous moment, O’Hara, too, was quiet., seeming to be in shock from the outburst. After a few beats, he stood up from the pews and walked back over to Brian, who still looked furious.

“I apologize for overstepping here,” he said in a softer voice. “I see that I have been a nuisance. We will be in touch.” O’Hara turned around and walked out of the chapel without another word. The choir remained silent as they watched his retreating form walk beyond the doors.

“Oh, thank God,” Sam exclaimed once he was out of sight, which got a chuckle out of a good amount of the choir members. Brian took a deep breath to collect himself.

“Okay, where were we? Barb, an E, please?”

*******

The remaining day on campus, as well as the flight back to Utah for Thanksgiving was mostly uneventful to be honest, though not in a good way. Kevin continued to shrug off any mention of issues, so Connor still did not know what was wrong. Their plane ride, usually full of cuddles and laughs, was startlingly silent, aside from a couple comments here and there. This was not to say that Connor did not try to inspire conversation, but Kevin gave him mainly only one or two answers the entire flight home. Connor tried to not let it bother him, but it was hard convincing himself of that. Kevin was simply not acting himself and Connor wanted to know why. The moment that was the cherry on top for Connor was Thanksgiving night when he received a text from Kevin. 

**(Kevin): Hey, babe. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to go Black Friday shopping with you tomorrow. I’ve been feeling really sick for most of the night. I think I need to rest.**

**(Connor): Oh no, my poor baby! Are you okay??**

**(Kevin): Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just need to sleep. Sorry again.**

**(Connor): That’s okay, honey. You do what’s best for you. I love you. <3**

**(Kevin): Love you too.**

Connor believed his boyfriend. But there was also a part of him that was unsure if he was actually telling the truth. Normally, he would not have questioned it, but paired with how weird Kevin had been acting recently, it just didn’t look good. 

_Maybe if I get an outside perspective, I can make some sense out of all of this?_

**(Connor): Hey Kath, can I ask you something?**

**(Kathryn): Lol Happy Thanksgiving to you too! ;) But yeah, what’s up? :)**

**(Connor): Happy Thanksgiving! Sorry. Haha I just wanted to get your opinion on some stuff that’s going on with Kevin.**

**(Kathryn): You guys okay?**

**(Connor): See, that’s the thing—I don’t know. He’s been acting really weird recently and won’t tell me what’s up…**

**(Kathryn): He did seem kind of off to me the past few weeks, but I didn’t want to butt in.**

**(Connor): Right? And now he just texted me cancelling our plans for Black Friday tomorrow.**

**(Kathryn): That’s really weird. :/**

**(Connor): I mean, he said that he didn’t feel good. But with everything else going on…**

**(Kathryn): No, I agree, it’s kind of suspicious. Definitely make sure you talk to him. Maybe he just needs a little time to talk to you about whatever’s going on? Don’t give up!**

**(Connor): Yeah, you’re probably right. Thanks Kath.**

**(Kathryn): Anytime! I love you guys! :)**

**(Connor): Love you too. :) How are things going on for you in the relationship department?**

**(Kathryn): Ugh. I just wish Robert would make a move already! I’m like 90% sure he likes me, but I don’t feel confident enough to do it myself. Haha I’m pretty sure I make it obvious enough and we’ve already gotten dinner together just the two of us.**

**(Connor): Can’t you just…I don’t know… “accidentally” brush up against him or something? ;)**

**(Kathryn): See, that would be smart, but…I don’t know…what if he isn’t the one? I sort of don’t want this to end, even if he isn’t the one, you know? I don’t know if this makes any sense or not, but like, if I know for sure that he’s not my soulmate, then it’s just over…**

**(Connor): No, I get what you mean. But isn’t it better to know for sure?**

**(Kathryn): In some ways, yes, but I just worry about the end result. I know that if he is my soulmate things are going to be a million times better. But if he’s not, then I lose all of that, and I’m not that sure that I’m ready to possibly lose it yet…**

**(Connor): Well, I wish you the best of luck, Kath! Maybe things will work out in your favor. :)**

**(Kathryn): I hope so! Haha I hope for you too!**

**(Connor): Thanks! Well, I’ll talk to you again soon. Goodnight!**

**(Kathryn): Night! :)**

Connor put down his phone, lost in his thoughts. He supposed he could see where Kathryn was coming from. While he already knew he and Kevin were soulmates during the whole time they were flirting, he knew that he would rather have more time of uncertainty than lose him all together. It would devastate him to lose Kevin. Even without the soulmate mark, Connor knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Kevin made his life infinitely better and there would be no reason in the world that would convince him to even risk throwing that away. After his conversation with Kathryn, he was even more determined to find out what was going on with Kevin. 

He would do whatever it took to ensure that he and Kevin were okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brownie points if anyone catches the Schitt's Creek reference! ;)
> 
> Fun fact: My first experience at a bar (which was probably only my second or so time drinking ever) inspired the first part of this chapter! My first shot (a Red-Headed Slut) promptly landed all over my face (the sad part being that that was my first drink of the night, so I was 100% sober when it happened. XD) When I asked for a napkin, my friend that I was with, being ever so kind, also said "they don't have those here!" Then he proceeded to laugh when I found a tissue in my purse and used that instead. Hahaha Sadly, the mayor/water/rum and coke thing also happened because the mayor of my town was sitting a few seats down from me... XD If you are 21+ years old, I highly recommend Jolly Rancher shots! And rum and cokes. And margaritas. Haha 
> 
> I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter!! As always, thank you for reading/commenting/giving kudos! It truly means a lot to me! :)


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